Zachary Quinto To Not Play Agent 47 In AGENT 47

Work on the HITMAN sequel continues unabated.

Zachary Quinto has been cast in the upcoming Agent 47, because this is 2014 and every actor who appears in one entertainment franchise must appear in at least two others. The film is a sequel to 2007's Hitman, based on the Square Enix video game series of the same name, but not bearing the same title, presumably to distance it from the original.

But Quinto isn't playing the title character, the barcode-tattooed contract killer with alternatingly suave and silly dress sense born into a life of professional murder. No, that role is going to British actor Rupert Friend, replacing the late Paul Walker, who was to replace Timothy Olyphant, who replaced digital David Bateson, who replaced an idea in a game developer's head. Friend hasn't played a bald character before, so he'll probably be terrible in the role. It's unknown at this stage whether Quinto's character will also be bald, or whether he will have that sexy dusting of stubble the actor typically sports.

I've always thought the Hitman games could make for a good film adaptation. It'd be a spy flick, but with a Final Destination M.O, a heist movie structure and a bleak, sardonic sense of humour. Done right, it would capture the sneaky Rube Goldberg fun of the games' open-plan assassinations while telling a story original to cinema. The 2007 film did none of these things, nor was it a good adaptation or even a good movie, descending if into generic action guff despite the usually-interesting Xavier Gens directing. At least, I think it did that. I only barely remember. It made nearly $100 million worldwide, though, so the sequel mill is a-churnin'.

Agent 47 will be directed by Aleksander Bach, a commercial director making his feature debut, from a screenplay by Hitman, A Good Day To Die Hard and X-Men Origins: Wolverine writer Michael Finch and Predators writer Skip Woods. Oh God.