Chris Columbus Is Making An Adam Sandler Movie

All signs point to supreme greatness.

There's a trailer currently playing in theaters for a film called Blended. It is just the latest in a long line of movie trailers that I learn to almost love hating thanks to repeated unwanted viewings. It has something to do with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler taking a joint trip to Africa. They are both single parents. She has boys; he has girls. They all hate each other, but sure enough, they will all end the film fucking. I've seen the Blended trailer about ten times and still have no idea why it's called Blended. Blanded was probably considered too spoilery. Hey-oh!

So I'm not in a good mood about Adam Sandler right now. I usually try to find that corner of my adolescence that used to love him, but it's harder lately. Keep that in mind as I write about Pixels.

Adam Sandler's production company, Happy Madison, is going ahead with a movie called Pixels which will be directed by Chris Columbus. For maximum money potential and after careful consideration, Happy Madison has decided to cast Adam Sandler as the star. He will likely be joined by frequent costar Kevin James. Josh Gad may also appear. Happy Madison wants Jennifer Aniston to be in the movie, but she may be too busy making something called Mean Moms for Vivid Entertainment (I think).

Here's the thing: Pixel is based on a short film by Patrick Jean called Pixels: Retro Gamers, and it kind of sounds cool. A bunch of '80s video game characters attack New York and a group of awesome video game players have to go fight them off. Maybe it's a little derivative, but I like that synopsis. It's supposed to be an action-comedy like Ghostbusters, or Ghostbusters before Ghostbusters became a weird eulogy, anyway.

So there you go. Here is another Adam Sandler movie. Good or bad, I will consider myself lucky if I can just make it to 2016 without seeing the trailer a million times.