Have Sex With These Hi-Res, Full Body GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Promo Shots

You could do other things with them, but let's not kid each other.

Once upon a time there was a Guardians of the Galaxy teaser poster. It looked like this:

Now, for some reason, we have each of the poster's five figures cut out all by their lonesome and ready to be photoshopped into family photos or printed off and glued onto sex dolls or whatever you want. It's a free country. And even if you don't live in a free country, just be secretive about it.

I do have to admit, it is nice to get such an up-close, detailed look at these characters. Also, I'm eager to post anything about this film. I'm very curious about its chances. As sort of an experiment I played the trailer cold for both my wife and my kid to gauge their reactions. The kid, a pretty big weirdo, flipped out and thinks the movie looks awesome. My wife, a more typical moviegoer with an extremely sophisticated sense of humor (she is the Anton Ego of laughing at things), just thought it looked okay. But she didn't feel dirty or embarrassed watching it, either. So that's a real endorsement!

Guardians of the Galaxy comes out August 1, which gives Captain America: The Winter Soldier only fourth months to be the best Marvel movie yet. Unless it's still better than Guardians, in which case, it will enjoy the title for quite some time.