So last week I was doing some work for my other writing job, which involved looking up pictures from Basic Instinct, the movie that introduced the world to Sharon Stone's vagina, when I came across something that gave me pause - which might be an understatement. This image was one of the first search results, and I frantically looked up to make sure Google's safe search function was on because I thought I'd inadvertently stumbled on child porn or a horribly misguided photography project from someone looking to take those "let's put kids in popular movie set-ups and take cute photos of it for our annual family calendar" scenarios to the next level. Safe search was totally on. I had stumbled upon something very different and somehow more hilariously horrifying.
What you see below is an ad for Clue, also traditionally known as Cluedo, the murder mystery whodunit board game for kids. This print ad (along with one mimicking Hannibal Lecter and another made as an homage to The Godfather - though those are slightly less weird) was apparently commissioned by Hasbro, the company who makes and distributes Clue, but these ads weren't released in the U.S., where they likely would have caused a bit of a stir. These were released in print in Mexico in November of 2010.
The one above is by far the most insanely misguided and wrong-headed of the few, inspired by Basic Instinct and placing a young girl in Sharon Stone's role, same white outfit and icy blonde up-do, her body airbrushed to infinity and beyond so her little pre-pubescent legs look as hairless and shiny as a grown woman on the cover of Playboy. No little girl's legs look like this! They shouldn't even be shaving yet! Or sitting in a chair emulating Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct with some weird "I know something you don't know so come over here and find out" stare. It's super gross and inappropriate and weird.
Also, what does Basic Instinct even have to do with Clue? They're both murder mysteries, but the similarities stop there. I don't know how kids are playing Clue these days, or if it's some crazy mash-up of Clue and "doctor," but that is not how we played Clue in my house.