FRIDAY THE 13TH Returns To The Third Dimension

Like a wonderful wine pairing, Jason Voorhees and 3D will finally be reunited.

I’m a bit of a purist when it comes to 3D. That doesn't mean I hate it; that means I think it’s a hokey sideshow gimmick best left in disreputable exploitation films. So when handsome and eagle-eyed Ryan Turek reported that Paramount will be releasing the next Friday the 13th film in 3D, I was gladdened. Doubly so, because I’m also old, and one of my favorite childhood memories was seeing Friday the 13th Part 3 (“IN SUPER 3-D!”, the ads promised) in a packed theater in 1982. No “next-level, future of cinema" immersion horseshit; it was 90 minutes of machetes COMING AT YOU, arrows COMING AT YOU, breasts and popcorn and TV antennas COMING AT YOU. This is how God intended you to experience 3D.

And so we shall once again. Folks are taking this news about the 3D to mean that Paramount is wisely dropping the “found footage” angle that was previously reported. That’s an assumption, but you’ll find that being reported elsewhere as fact, because journalism isn't what it used to be and that’s just what we do now. Just nod politely when you hear this, and know that really, you’ll have to wait and see if Paramount has indeed come to their senses on the found footage shtick. Let’s hope they have.

But for now, Jason Voorhees in 3D is good news! The movie opens on November 13, 2015. Here’s some music to help you celebrate.