SDCC: Why I Learned Nothing At The HITMAN: AGENT 47 Press Conference

Unless you count a reminder that HITMAN: AGENT 47 exists.

Having never seen the original Hitman movie or played the original video games, I feel like I was an easy mark for learning new things about the Hitman series at today’s Hitman: Agent 47 press conference. Instead, I learned nothing. Here is why:

*First question, some dummy brought the whole room down by asking about what changes the filmmakers had to make to replace Paul Walker after his death (if you didn't know, Walker was supposed to play Mr. 47). Of course, the panel included no directors, writer, or producer types, just actors Zackary Quinto and Hannah Ware, neither of whom wanted to comment on the topic. It was a bummer.

*Hannah Ware, for fear of giving away any of the movie’s secrets, refused to tell us anything about her character. Even when asked to describe some stunt work she did, she refused because of spoiler fears. She had to do something dangerous that involved a rope. That's as far as she was willing to take us.

*The actual Hitman, Rupert Friend, was not at the panel. None of us really knew who Zachary Quinto was playing, and Hannah Ware wouldn’t say anything, so we all started wondering what we were even there for. This broadened outward until we were all questioning life itself, Quinto especially.

*People stopped asking questions. Then we all realized that no one was asking questions anymore. This was very awkward. So people started asking rushed, made up questions. None yielded good intel.

Hitman: Agent 47 opens February 27!