Over the past couple of years, the Lifetime Network has gotten into the intentionally bad movies game "perfected" by SyFy. I recall with such fondness those halcyon days when Lifetime movies were only incidentally bad. The days of movies like Friends 'Til The End, Death of a Cheerleader and Mother, May I Sleep With Danger - all films that I have enjoyed on a hazy Sunday afternoon here and there.
And then Lindsay Lohan played Elizabeth Taylor, hordes began live-tweeting and all bets were off.
That chain of events led to this catastrophe: a Christmas movie starring Internet feline celebrity Grumpy Cat, with Aubrey Plaza's dull monotone dashing off bon mots like "uhmmmm no" and "FAIL."
I am a cat lover. I am a lover of pictures of cats doing silly things online. I like it when cats have goofy faces and memorable names, like Lil Bub and Winston. But I always feel a little weird about the pet celebrity phenomenon, especially when, for instance, Grumpy Cat is brought to South by Southwest to be man-handled by crowds of drunk hipsters for hours on end. She just looks so miserable, and yeah, I get that's her thing, but I can't quite imagine subjecting any of my pets to this indignity:
And I say that as a person who just dressed her dog up as Robin Hood.
Anyway, Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever will air on November 29th on Lifetime and co-stars Megan Charpentier from Mama and Jennifer's Body. Prepare your super annoying live-tweeting engines and I will set a calendar reminder to stay off Twitter for two hours that day. Here is an official summary in which the word "unique" is used twice within a sentence because nobody cared enough to edit it:
In “Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever,” Grumpy Cat is a lonely cat living in a mall pet shop. Because she always gets passed over and never gets chosen by customers, this kitty develops a sour outlook on life until…one day during the holidays, a very special 12-year-old girl named Chyrstal enters the pet store and falls in love with Grumpy Cat. A unique friendship is formed between the two when Chyrstal finds she is the only person who can hear this unique feline talk. In the middle of the holiday rush, Grumpy reluctantly thwarts the kidnapping of an expensive exotic dog she can’t stand and rescues Chyrstal after the mall closes on Christmas Eve. Will Grumpy Cat learn the true meaning of Christmas, or will it be in Grumpy’s words, “Worst. Christmas. Ever?”