Here, Have Some Misguided And Inappropriate Vintage Wonder Woman Scissors

What are the odds John Waters owns a pair of these?

Geek gifts aren’t ALL about tasteful licensing usage. Sometimes characters we love appear on products that make you want to scratch your head a little. Or hide under your bed a little.

Such is the case with these 1978 Wonder Woman scissors. On the surface, there is nothing automatically wrong about putting Wonder Woman on a pair of office equipment like this. That would be relatively harmless and there are probably wonderful Wonder Woman scissors available to kids right now. The problem is when Wonder Woman’s legs are positioned in such a way that every time you open the scissors, she’s doing the splits (to put it as gently as possible). It could be worse, and it really does seem like a product of thoughtlessness rather than maliciousness, but I’m calling it medium gross either way.

Having said all that, this thing does command a kitschy and perverse attraction. If that sounds like you, I have good news and bad news. The good news: You can get a pair on Amazon. The Bad news: Only three of you can get a pair on Amazon. There are two new ones available for $15 and one used pair that will only set you back $100.

Someone’s going to get one. Who’s it going to be?