Bow down, assholes. These queens have SOMETHING TO SAY.
If I'm not careful, I'll just end up quoting every line in this brilliant, hilarious sketch from last night's premiere of Inside Amy Schumer's third season (white spiders! melted purse!). Schumer, Tina Fey, Patricia Arquette and Julia Louis-Dreyfus completely destroy Hollywood's ageist standards of female sex appeal with their typical humor and swagger - and, it should be stated, with no small amount of fuckability.
Inside Amy Schumer says something important amid all the absurdity on a regular basis, and last night's episode was no exception: this Friday Night Lights parody about rape culture is really special, too. Schumer is fearless and loud, just like I like 'em, and it's pretty major that she's brought three other loud, fearless women to join her at a table at which we should all be so lucky to sit. I want to talk about my pussy with these ladies!
Schumer and Dan Powell on the sketch:
The team had been trying to make this sketch for three years, but a lot of actresses said no. “We were thinking of a Diane Keaton or a Mia Farrow,” said co-creator and executive producer Dan Powell. “Can’t imagine why those two wouldn’t want to work together,” Schumer piped in with her typical on-point dry humor. “More and more in Hollywood you see a 65-year old dude and Natalie Portman, or the other one that looks like her. I was obsessed with the idea of [having a] Viking funeral and pushing Julia out on the boat."
If you can't tell from the text, this is the uncensored version of the video and it's NSFW. Especially if you work for the patriarchy. The patriarchy is NOT safe around these broads.