Film Crit Hulk Smash: The MAD MEN Finale And The Mantra Of Don Draper

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man·tra (mantrə) noun: mantra; plural noun: mantras
(originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.a Vedic hymn.-a statement or slogan repeated frequently
 

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"What's my mantra again?" - JEFF GOLDBLUM IN ANNIE HALL.

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SOMEHOW, DON DRAPER HAS ENDED UP RACING CARS.

THE SOMEHOW IN HULK'S BRAIN HAS LESS TO DO WITH LOGISTICS AND FAR MORE TO DO WITH THE VERY PURPOSEFUL ECHOES OF FILM BY THE NAME OF TWO-LANE BLACKTOP (IT'S DIRECTED BY MONTE HELLMAN AND HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF HULK'S FAVORITE MOVIES EVER). THE REFERENCE IS LESS IN ANY SPECIFIC MOTIF AND MORE TO DO WITH DON'S BRIEF INTERACTIONS WITH THREE CHARACTERS, ALL OF WHOM SEEM TO BE DIRECT RIFFS ON TWO-LANE'S CENTRAL CHARACTERS KNOWN ONLY AS "THE DRIVER. THE MECHANIC. AND THE GIRL." BUT IT'S A PERFECT TOUCHSTONE FOR THE SHOW, REALLY. THE 1971 FILM CONCERNS A CROSS-COUNTRY RACE BETWEEN THE AFOREMENTIONED THREE CHARACTERS AND AN AGING, RICH SHOW-OFF WHO IS SIMPLY REFERRED TO AS "G.T.O" (PLAYED BY THE INCREDIBLE WARREN OATES). THE DRIVER AND THE MECHANIC ARE LESS CHARACTERS AND MORE MACHINES OF PURPOSE (ALSO PLAYED BY JAMES TAYLOR AND DENNIS WILSON! YES, THOSE GUYS!). THEY ONLY SEEM TO EAT LIKE THEY ARE CONSUMING FUEL. THEY BARELY TALK. THEY ONLY DO ONE THING: THEY RACE. AND "THE GIRL," A PERSON WHOSE ENTIRE PERSONHOOD SEEMS INCIDENTAL TO THEM ALL, IS SHUFFLED BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO CARS, TRYING TO SUSS OUT WHO THESE PEOPLE EVEN ARE, ALL BEFORE SHE GOES OFF ON HER OWN JOURNEY TO LEAVE THEM WITH THEIR B.S. AND THEN THERE IS G.T.O., WHO IS YOUR TYPICAL LOST SOUL; A MAN WHO BOUGHT THE AMERICAN DREAM IN THE FORM OF AMERICAN MUSCLE. A MAN CONSTANTLY CHANGING HIS BACKSTORY IN SEARCH OF... SOMETHING.

... SOUND FAMILIAR?

EVEN BETTER, IN TWO-LANE BLACKTOP THEY ARE ALL ON A RACE FROM THE WEST TO WASHINGTON D.C. MEANING THE FILM IS ACTUALLY THE PORTRAYAL OF BACKWARDS MANIFEST DESTINY. AND LIKE THE TIMING OF THIS FINAL EPISODE, THAT FILM WAS RELEASED IN 1971, AND ALSO HAPPENED TO BE CHARACTERIZING THE BURNT OUT DREAM OF the 1960s. IT SOMEHOW FEELS ENDLESSLY REMOVED FROM THE LURID DISPLAYS OF EASY RIDER, WHICH WAS RELEASED JUST TWO YEARS PRIOR. THIS IS A CULTURE THAT'S CRASHED AND BURNED, SHOWCASING THE DAWN OF THE '70s WHERE THINGS GOT REAL WEIRD, REAL QUICK. PUT SIMPLY, ALL THE FREE LOVE TURNED TO EMPTINESS. IT SPAWNED A QUEST FOR MEANING. A SEARCH IN THE "ME" GENERATION. A JOURNEY INWARD. AND LIKE TWO-LANE, THE IDEA HANGS ALL OVER THE FINAL EPISODE OF MAD MEN. HERE, WE PERHAPS GET THE FULLEST PORTRAIT YET OF DON DRAPER BEING ALONE. BECAUSE HE'S DOING THE SAME THING AS THOSE OTHER CHARACTERS. HE'S RACING NOWHERE. OUR VERY FIRST IMAGE IS OF HIM DRIVING AS FAST AS HE CAN ON EMPTY SALT FLATS AND ENDLESS STRETCHES OF IDENTIFIABLE LAND. HE'S REFERRED TO AS A MAN WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT CARS AND DOESN'T EVEN OWN ONE. HIS INTERACTIONS ARE THE MOST PLAIN AND MECHANICAL THEY'VE EVER BEEN. EVEN HIS LAST SEXUAL TRYST IS BUILD ON THE BAREST FABRICATION OF CONNING AND SEMI-PROSTITUTION. WE ARE SEEING DON AT HIS MOST HONEST... WHICH JUST MEANS WE ARE SEEING DON AT HIS LEAST ROMANTIC AND LEAST HOPEFUL. HE IS ROTE DON. HE IS EMPTY. BUT HE STILL WANTS SO MUCH DESPERATELY IN HIS HEART. WHETHER HE ADMITS IT, HE IS ON A JOURNEY...

BUT WHAT HE DOESN'T REALIZE IS THAT HIS JOURNEY IS INWARD.

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HULK'S ALWAYS JOKED THAT MAD MEN WAS STRUCTURED LIKE AN IRISH PLAY, MEANING "IT COULD END AT ANY POINT." AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, EVERY EPISODE OF THE SHOW PROBABLY COULD HAVE BEEN A FINALE. IT'S BECAUSE THE EPISODES WERE ALWAYS LITTLE SHORT FILMS IN THEIR OWN WAY. CHARACTERS WOULD MOVE IN LITTLE INCREMENTAL STATEMENTS, CAPTURING THE HUMAN KNACK FOR TAKING ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK. AND THE BIGGEST CHARACTER ARCS ON THE SHOW ARE REALLY MORE ABOUT HOW CHARACTERS UNWOUND RATHER THAN GREW. THESE STORIES HIGHLIGHTED THE NATURE OF OUR OWN VICIOUS CYCLES. AND AS MUCH AS CHARACTERS TALKED ABOUT MOVING "FORWARD," THEY OFTEN FOUND THAT THERE WAS NO SUCH THING.

SO HONESTLY, WE GOT MORE OF A TRADITIONAL FINALE THAN HULK THOUGHT WE WOULD.

THAT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING.

IT WAS AN EPISODE WHERE WE GOT TO SEE PETE AND TRUDY AS THEY FLEW OFF AS A FAMILY UNIT, A MOVE THAT MAY SEEM STRANGE GIVEN THE LAST FEW YEARS, BUT HULK STILL REMEMBERS THE EARLIER, BRIEF VERSION OF PETE WHO REALLY, TRULY LOVED HIS WIFE. PEOPLE FORGET THAT PART. THERE WAS A PETE CAMPBELL WHO WATCHED CARTOONS AND SULKED WITH BOYISH PRIDE. AND AS SICK AND SHALLOW AS HE COULD BE, HE ALSO HAD THESE WEIRD INITIAL MOMENTS IN HIS EARLIER YEARS WHERE HE SEEMED TO REALLY BE TURNING AWAY FROM THE DON DRAPER WAY OF LIFE (THIS WAS AFTER HE TRIED TO EMULATE HIM, BUT BEFORE HE REALLY DID END UP LIKE HIM). BUT EVEN THIS BIG MOVING GESTURE OF FAMILY IS STILL ALL ABOUT HIMSELF. NO, THE CLOSEST PETE EVER COMES TO HUMILITY WAS ACTUALLY IN THE FINALE AS WELL, IN WHICH HE TELLS PEGGY THAT PEOPLE WILL ONE DAY BE PROUD TO SAY THEY WORKED WITH HER. WHEN QUESTIONED HOW SHE SHOULD RESPOND TO A COMMENT LIKE THAT, PETE REPLIES "I DON'T KNOW. NO ONE'S EVER SAID THAT ABOUT ME." IF THERE'S SUCH A THING AS GROWTH, IT'S PETE CAMPBELL COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDING WHO HE IS: FAR FROM THE BOY WHO STARTED, A MAN WHO KNOWS THAT, AT BEST, HE SLITHERS HIS WAY INTO BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB, BUT TO THE ADMIRATION OF NO ONE. THERE'S NO PRETENSE. THERE'S JUST PETE.

IT WAS AN EPISODE FULL OF JOAN, WHO DOES NOT GIVE UP HERSELF AND EVERYTHING SHE'S WORKED FOR TO GO OFF INTO THE GOLDEN (COCAINE SOAKED?) SUNSET WITH MR. TOO TAN. SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS. IF ALL YOU NEED FOR A COMPANY IS TWO NAMES TO MAKE IT SOUND OFFICIAL, SHE'S LEARNED SHE'S GOT EM: HOLLOWAY-HARRIS. THE TWO NAMES OF TWO LIVES FULLY LIVED. THEY'RE BOTH FULLY EXPERIENCED ENOUGH TO BE MORE THAN UP TO THE TASK. SHE MAY NOT HAVE EVERYTHING SHE WANTS, BUT SHE FINALLY SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS.

IT WAS AN EPISODE WHERE SALLY COMES TO WATCH HER MOTHER'S LAST DAYS AND LEARNS THAT ADULTHOOD IS MUCH LESS A THING YOU JUMP INTO IN YOUR LATER YEARS, AND MORE SOMETHING THRUST INTO YOUR HANDS AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.

IT WAS AN EPISODE WHERE ROGER HAS EMBRACED THE SEE-SAW ROMANCE OF A WOMAN WHO LOVES LIFE AS MUCH AS HE DOES AND CHALLENGES HIM AS MUCH AS HE DESERVES.

AND IT WAS AN EPISODE WHERE PEGGY AND STAN RELEASE SOMETHING THAT'S JUST BEEN SITTING THERE FOR YEARS. AND HAS ALWAYS SAT THERE, HASN'T IT? DORMANT, YET TRUE AS IT EVER WAS. AND IN THE FINAL MOMENTS, IT JUST FINALLY COMES UP. A MOMENT OF SAD ADMITTANCE. AFTER EVERYTHING, AND IN THE MOMENT WHERE STAN FINALLY CONVINCES HER TO LET DON GO. AND NO, IT'S NOT TRYING TO IMPLY THAT PEGGY HAD A THING FOR DON. IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE SHE HAD "A THING" FOR STAN. IT'S ALL JUST THE WAY WE FRAME AND SEE OUR LIVES. THE WAY PEOPLE SHAPE OUR WANTS, HOPES AND FEARS. AND FOREVER, DON AND STAN HAVE BEEN THE TWO PEOPLE WHO DEFINED HER LIFE. AND IN ONE SENTIMENTAL MOMENT, PEGGY GOT TO SEE HOW STAN ALWAYS MAKES HER FEEL. AND THUS, IT ALL CAME OUT. AS SILLY AS THE ROMANTIC MOMENT COULD SEEM FOR A SHOW LIKE THIS, THE HONEST TO GOODNESS TRUTH IS THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN. AND THEY TEND TO HAPPEN MUCH LIKE THIS. THE RELEASE OF YEARS OF UNSPOKEN THINGS CAN SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE A DELUGE, AND IT IS AS KIND AND MEANINGFUL AS IT SHOULD BE.

WHAT HULK LIKED ABOUT ALL THIS IS THAT IT SHOWED THAT MAD MEN CAN STILL BE AS SENTIMENTAL AS THE REST OF US. IT WASN'T EVEN MUCH OF A SHIFT. AFTER ALL, NOTHING'S REALLY "OUT OF BOUNDS" IN THIS SHOW. BUT IT WAS THE RARE MOMENT WHERE CHARACTERS WERE IN SYNC, WHEREIN PEOPLE GOT TO SHARE SOMETHING OF MEANING WITH SOMEONE. AND IN TRUE FASHION TO THE SHOW, ALL THOSE SOMETHINGS WERE SOMETHING EARNED. VICTORIES OF HARD FOUGHT LIVES. HULK WOULDN'T CALL THEM HAPPY ENDINGS, BUT MOMENTS THAT MARK THE NATURE OF WHAT WE CALL "CONTENT." AND WHAT DOES CONTENT MEAN EXACTLY? WELL, HULK HAS ALWAYS DEFINED IT AS THE FOLLOWING:

"CONTENT" IS SOMETHING THAT IS HAPPY, SAD AND TRUE IN EQUAL MEASURE.

AND SO WITH THAT CENTRAL IDEA, THE LAST QUESTION REMAINS:

WHAT ABOUT DON?

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ONE OF THE MOST TALKED ABOUT FINALES IN HISTORY IS THE SOPRANOS. THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, RIGHT? BUT IT SHOULD BE SAID THAT MATTHEW WEINER WAS A WRITER ON THAT SHOW TOO. AND HE LIKELY LEARNED MANY A LESSON ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR EXPERIENCE AND LIKELY BROUGHT THOSE IDEAS INTO THE FINALE OF MAD MEN. IN THE VERY LEAST, ONE WOULD COULD ARGUE THIS TO BE TRUE.

AND FOR ALL THE ARGUMENT ABOUT WHAT THE SPECIFICS OF THE SOPRANOS FINALE MEANT, ESPECIALLY WITH THAT AGGRESSIVE CUT TO BLACK, THE THING HULK LOVED ABOUT IT WAS THAT THE SCENE WAS PERHAPS ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE EXAMPLES OF HOW TO BRING YOU INSIDE THE MIND OF TONY SOPRANO. IT TAUGHT US HOW TO SEE THE WORLD AS HE DID. HOW TO SEE EVERY MAN IN A MEMBER'S ONLY JACKET. HOW TO SEE A ROOM. HOW TO SEE PEOPLE. HOW TO SEE TENSION. HOW TO SEE THE SHAPE OF A WORLD BENT AROUND YOUR OWN PSYCHOPATHY AND, YES, EVEN LOVE FOR THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. WHICH, IN THE END, WAS WHAT THE SHOW WAS REALLY ABOUT.

AND LIKE THAT FINALE, THE LAST SCENES OF MAD MEN ABSOLUTELY BROUGHT US INTO THE MIND OF DON DRAPER.

DON RESTS BY A PHONE BOOTH, HAVING MADE WHAT HE BELIEVES TO BE HIS LAST PHONE CALL TO PEGGY. IT'S A PHONE CALL HE'S MADE MANY TIMES BEFORE. BUT THIS TIME, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT. HE IS BROKEN. TRULY. HE CAN'T EVEN MOVE. AND THEN ONE OF THE FEMALE GROUP LEADERS OF THIS RETREAT COMES UP TO HIM. SHE ASKS HIM TO HELP HER COME UP TO A GROUP SESSION. ALMOST BEING GUIDED, HE RELUCTANTLY DOES SO.

WHILE SITTING THE GROUP, A MAN MOVES CHAIRS TO SPEAK.

THIS MAN SEEMS UNLIKE DON IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY. HE IS NOT HANDSOME. HE HAS A WISP OF HAIR ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. HE IS SLIGHT. UN-COMMANDING. SOFT-SPOKEN. HE IS MARRIED. HE SEEMS CONTENT. AND YET, HE GOES ON TO DESCRIBE HIS LIFE AND IT IS CLEAR HE FEELS LIKE NOTHING. A BIG BALL OF AIR. HE CONSTANTLY FEELS AS IF HE HAS BEEN PASSED OVER, UNSEEN, UNPICKED BY EVERYONE AROUND HIM. UNPICKED BY LIFE ITSELF... AND IT IS ALL SO ACHINGLY TRUE TO HIM. AND IN THAT MOMENT, THIS MAN BREAKS DOWN CRYING.

SINCE WE'VE MET HIM, DON DRAPER HAS BEEN ANYTHING BUT IGNORED. HE IS DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME. HE ENTERS A ROOM AND COMMANDS ATTENTION. PEOPLE THROW THEMSELVES AT HIM, MEANING HE IS THE ONE WHO IS ESSENTIALLY "PICKED" MANY, MANY TIMES OVER. AND YET THE WORDS OF THIS RANDOM, SAD MAN HAVE MANAGED TO REACH DOWN INTO DON DRAPER'S SOUL AND HARROW IT COMPLETELY. THEY REACH THE POOR FRIGHTENED BOY WHO GREW UP IN A BROTHEL. THEY REACH THAT SHELL OF A MAN BY THE NAME OF DICK WHITMAN WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND IN KOREA. THEY REACH A MAN WHO THOUGHT TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR HIM WAS TO SIMPLY "MOVE ON," BECAUSE HE WAS TOO SCARED TO DEAL WITH THE EMPTINESS INSIDE. AND AS SUCH, THEY REACH A MAN WHO HAS NEVER, IN ANY WAY, LEARNED THE REAL WAY TO MAKE GENUINE CONNECTIONS IN HIS LIFE. DON DRAPER MAY HAVE HAD THE WORLD AS HIS OYSTER, BUT HE ENDED UP FEELING JUST AS ALONE AS THE SLIGHT, CRYING MAN IN FRONT OF HIM. A MAN OF DECADENCE WHO WANTS SOMETHING REAL. MEANING DON DRAPER IS THE SADDEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE. AND IN THIS OTHER PERSON, HE SEES HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME.

COMPELLED BEYOND BELIEF, DON GOES TOWARD THE MAN AND EMBRACES HIM. THEY CRY TOGETHER... AND IN THAT ONE MOMENT, THEIR DEEP, EXISTENTIAL LONELINESS MAKES THEM THE SAME PERSON. OR IN THE VERY LEAST, TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN.

LATER, DON IS STILL AT THE COMPOUND. HE'S CHANGED HIS CLOTHES. HE'S DRESSED ALL IN WHITE. HE MEDITATES IN THE PEACE. HE HEARS THE "OMMMMM" CHANTING OF MEDITATION.

THE CAMERA MOVES IN.

HE SMILES.

AND THE FAMOUS COMMERCIAL FOR "I'D LIKE TO BUY THE WORLD A COKE" BEGINS TO PLAY. BEFORE WE END ON THE CREDITS.

NOW, PEOPLE ARE ALREADY HUNG UP ON THE EXACT MEANING AND INTENTION OF THIS SCENE. DOES IT LOGICALLY IMPLY THAT DON DRAPER LEFT THAT COMPOUND, RETURNED TO MCCANN-ERICKSON, AND INVENTED THAT FAMOUS COMMERCIAL? WAS IT ALREADY AN EXISTING COMMERCIAL WHICH DON IS JUST SEEING IN HIS MOMENT OF MEDITATION? YES, WE CAN PARSE OVER THE SPECIFIC IMPLICATIONS OF THE CAMERA MOVEMENTS. YES, WE CAN DISCUSS THE CLOTHING OF THOSE AT THE RETREAT AND THE SIMILARITY TO THOSE FIGURES IN THE COMMERCIAL. BUT THE TRUTH IS NOT ONLY DOES THAT THE SCENE PURPOSEFULLY PLAY IT BOTH WAYS, BUT IN THE END, THE ANSWER DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT IT'S DON'S MANTRA.

FOR THE MAN WHO NEVER WROTE MORE THAN A FEW HUNDRED WORDS ABOUT ANYTHING IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE, THE FINALE'S MOMENT OF ULTIMATE REFLECTION PROVIDED NO DEEP WORDS OF WISDOM. THERE IS NO GRAND STATEMENT ON THE MEANING OF LIFE, NOR WHAT HE'S LEARNED. THE MOMENT SIMPLY PROVIDES EVIDENCE OF THE MIND WE HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN. MEANING, ULTIMATELY, WE GOT THE PROOF THAT WHAT DON DESIRES IN HIS HEART IS THE SAME BENEVOLENT, AIRY, AND PERHAPS NAIVE DREAM OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS THAT ALL PEOPLE SEEK. AND LIKE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN FOR DON, IT'S AN IDEAL, ONE ENTWINED INTO THE ICONOGRAPHY OF THE PRODUCTS OF AMERICANA; ALL PART OF A CINEMATIC GESTURE THAT SHOWS THE UNDERSTANDING THAT A MANTRA AND AN ADVERTISING SLOGAN ARE REALLY THE SAME EXACT THING. THEY ARE REPEATED STATEMENTS FOR OUR APPARENT BETTERMENT. SOMETHING WE TRY TO CONVINCE OURSELVES OF.

AND IF YOU TAKE THE IDEA BEYOND THE OBVIOUS CYNICISM OF CONSUMERISM / CAPITALISM / OTHER ISMS, ALL THE "BUY THE WORLD A COKE" MANTRA NEEDS TO BE RESONANT IS FOR YOU TO LIKE COKE. IT COULD BE ANYTHING (FOR A MOMENT, IT WAS ALMOST HERSHEY'S FOR DON). BUT AS WE'VE ALSO LEARNED, DON DOES REALLY LIKE COCA-COLA. THINK OF HOW MUCH IT'S BEEN INTEGRATED INTO THE SEASON. THINK OF ITS APPEAL IN HOW IT GOT HIM TO COME TO MCCANN. THINK OF THE ALL THE TIMES IT'S SHOWED UP THROUGHOUT THE SERIES. THINK OF HOW MUCH HE LIKES THE GENIAL APPEAL OF THIS PARTICULAR "LIE" AND BRAND. THINK OF HOW MUCH IT'S BEEN ALIGNED WITH BEING AN ANSWER TO HIS PROBLEMS. THINK OF HOW MUCH HE'S SEEN IT AS REAL. EVEN THINK OF THAT PARTICULAR SLOGAN FOR COKE: "IT'S THE REAL THING." AND THE MORE YOU DIG INTO THE PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE OF COKE TO DON DRAPER THE MORE YOU REALIZE THAT THERE IS ONE QUESTION THAT SO FEW PEOPLE HAVE SEEMED TO ASK...

WHY IS ADVERTISING SO IMPORTANT TO DON?

RATHER THAN ANSWER THAT PARTICULAR VERSION OF THE QUESTION, THE POPULAR AUDIENCE HAS MOSTLY FOCUSED ON WHY HE'S SO GOOD AT IT. AND WE'VE COME UP WITH THE STANDARD EXPLANATIONS: DON'S ENTIRE LIFE IS BUILD AROUND LYING. HE MAKES ELEGANCE SEEM EFFORTLESS. HE CAN SPEAK WITH SILENCE. HE CAN MANIPULATE AND SEE PEOPLE FOR WHAT THEY LACK. HE OOZES CHARISMA. PUT SIMPLY: DON DRAPER IS THE EMBODIMENT OF EVERY TERRIBLE THING ABOUT ADVERTISING... BUT THERE IS MORE TO IT. AFTER ALL, EVEN IF DON DRAPER'S EXISTENCE IS A CYNICAL REALITY - HIS MANTRA IS NOT ABOUT CYNICISM, IS IT? EVERYONE THOUGHT ABOUT WHY DON IS GOOD AT ADVERTISING, BUT NO ONE'S EVER REALLY ASKED WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO HIM. WHY IS HE WEIRDLY PASSIONATE ABOUT IT? WHY CAN HE MAKE PEOPLE CRY? REALLY, WHY ADVERTISING?

AND IT TOOK THE ENTIRE DAMN SHOW FOR HULK TO SEE WHAT IT WAS...

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DID YOU KNOW THAT HULK SPENT A DECENT STINT OF TIME IN ADVERTISING? IT WAS ONE OF HULK'S FIRST "ADULT" JOBS AFTER INTERNING AND BEING A READER. HULK DESPERATELY NEEDED SOMETHING THAT PAID A REALISH SALARY. HULK GOT RECOMMENDED INTO THE JOB. HULK LIKED IT A LOT AT FIRST. THERE WERE LOTS OF FUNNY AND SMART PEOPLE. THEY WERE OLDER THAN HULK WAS AT THE TIME. THEY WERE WORLD-WEARY. MANY WERE THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO JUST "ENDED UP" IN ADVERTISING AND STAYED THERE FOR A LOT OF TERRIBLY UNROMANTIC REASONS. THERE ARE MANY WHO WOULD LOOK AT THAT AND SAY "OH THAT'S SO SAD!" AS IF THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD IS A DREAM DEFERRED. BUT IT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY NORMAL IN THIS WORLD. HECK, MOST PEOPLE JUST END UP IN JOBS AND LEARN TO CARE ABOUT THEIR LIVES BEYOND WORK. THERE'S A DIGNITY TO THAT. HULK PROBABLY COULD HAVE DONE IT TOO. BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT HULK WAS WAY MORE FASCINATED BY THE PEOPLE WHO GENUINELY WANTED TO BE IN ADVERTISING (AND NOT LARGER MOVIE / TV STUFF). THAT IT WAS THEIR DREAM. NOW, HALF OF THEM TENDED TO BE THE WORST EMPLOYEES (AS THEY WERE DRIVEN BUT HAD NO REAL UNDERSTANDING OF IT). AND THE OTHER HALF TENDED TO BE SOME OF THE VERY BEST ARTISTS IN THIS BUSINESS AND WHOLLY COMMITTED TO UNDERSTANDING WHAT THEY DO.

AND WHAT ALMOST ALL OF THEM UNDERSTOOD WAS THE BASIC PSYCHOLOGY OF THE INDUSTRY AND CONSUMPTION. AFTER MUCH OF WHAT CAME TO LIGHT IN THE '60s BECAME PART OF THE LANGUAGE OF ADVERTISING, THE INDUSTRY REACHED HEIGHTS FEW WOULD IMAGINE. REALLY. THE RESEARCH AND NUANCE IS INCREDIBLE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD THESE COMPANIES ARE AT TARGETING WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU WANT AND HOW MUCH YOU CAN MAKE THEM. THEY PROBABLY KNOW YOUR BEHAVIOR BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. AND IF THAT SOUNDS SCARY, IT'S BECAUSE IT KIND OF IS. AND YET, THE ENEMY OF ADVERTISING HAS BEEN WHAT IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN: THE CLIENT. DAY AFTER DAY, OLD WHITE MEN SHOW UP WITH THE SAME ASSUMPTIONS. YOU STILL HAVE LIQUOR COMPANIES THINKING THEY ARE A FAMILY VALUES BUSINESS AND TELL YOU TO CURB THE "GAY FAGGY SHIT" IN YOUR MEDIA. YOU STILL HAVE THEM AFRAID OF BEING THOUGHT OF AS "A BRAND FOR MINORITIES." YOU STILL HAVE ANY KIND OF INDUSTRY YOU'D GET WHEN THE GATEKEEPERS OF THE MONEY ARE ANCIENT DEMAGOGUES OF SOCIAL UGLINESS. THEIR IDEALS, OFTEN REACTIONARY, ARE JUST ABOUT THEIR OWN MORTALITY AND PRESERVING THEIR OWN SELFISH INTEREST AND IDEAS OF SELF. AND THUS, THROUGH THEIR ASININE VALUES THEY PREVENT THE REAL JOB OF ADVERTISING FROM BEING DONE. THEY PREVENT THE IMPERSONAL MACHINERY FROM MOVING FORWARD: ALL BECAUSE THEY PERVERT THE REAL, PATHOLOGICAL AND EQUALLY HARMFUL GOAL OF ADVERTISING IN AND OF ITSELF...

TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

THERE IT IS. THE MILLION DOLLAR SECRET. NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE THINK WE ARE BEYOND THE TRAPPINGS OF COMMERCIALISM, EVERY ONE OF US HAS PROBLEMS. AND WE EACH HAVE MATERIAL OR EXPERIENTIAL WAYS OF TRYING TO SOLVE THEM. THEY CAN BE PRACTICAL. THEY CAN BE DOWNRIGHT ETHEREAL. BUT IN ADVERTISING, IF YOU KNOW HOW TO TAP INTO THOSE PROBLEMS, IF YOU KNOW HOW TO TAP INTO THE THING THAT EVERYONE NEEDS, THEN YOU CAN MAKE THEM SEE THE WAY TO MOVE FORWARD. AS SUCH, ADVERTISING IS INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. YOU TRULY HAVE NO IDEA. BECAUSE WE GET THE ESSENTIAL TRUTH OF PERSON-HOOD. IT FINDS THE PART IN US THAT IS LACKING, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, AND IT TRIES TO FIND YOU A WAY TO FIX IT.

THE RESULT JUST HAS TO BE BELIEVED.

AND WHETHER OR NOT WE ADMIT IT, THIS IS AT THE ROOT OF EVERYTHING WE DO. IT'S THE REASON SELF-HELP BOOKS ARE THE MOST POPULAR FORM OF LITERATURE. IT'S THE REASON WE GO TO MOVIES AND GET EXPERIENCES THAT EITHER HELP US ESCAPE OR IMAGINE THAT WE HAVE BECOME BETTER VERSIONS OF OURSELVES. IT'S THE REASON WE LOOK AT TANGIBLY GOOD THINGS LIKE "LEARNING" AS PROGRESS. IT'S THE REASON WE LOVE TO HAVE GREAT FOOD WITH FRIENDS. IT'S WHY WE SEEK FULLNESS AND DRUNKENNESS. THEY ARE THEIR OWN KIND OF SOLUTIONS, AFTER ALL. AND YES, IT'S THE REASON WHY WE BUY ONE CERTAIN BRAND THAT'S MORE EXPENSIVE OVER ANOTHER. AND DOUBLE-YES, IT'S THE REASON PEOPLE GO TO RETREATS TO REPEAT AND FIND SLOGANS WITHIN THEIR INNER-SELVES. THERE'S SOMETHING THAT MAKES US FEEL LIKE "IT" IS SOLVING US. AND THAT'S WHEN HULK REALIZED SOMETHING ABOUT DON THAT HULK DID NOT FULLY REALIZE UNTIL THAT WONDROUS ENDING...

THE REASON DON DRAPER IS SO GOOD AT ADVERTISING IS BECAUSE HE NEEDS WHAT IT OFFERS MORE THAN ANYONE. AND REALLY, HE BELIEVES IN IT MORE THAN ANYONE, TOO.

AND LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN MAD MEN, THAT'S THE HAPPIEST SADDEST TRUEST THING THAT HULK CAN THINK OF.

<3 HULK