Girls Allowed To Bring Their Cooties To TRANSFORMERS Writer’s Room

Paramount lets two women into their shitty franchise.

What a victory for equal rights! Today we learned that Paramount has diversified the writer's room for the Transformers universe movies, which means that some of these unwatchably shitty movies will also be written by women! That's a big step, as we as a culture affirm our commitment to having women's voices also be drowned out by explosions, screeching metal, incomprehensible fight scenes, overdone CGI and Linkin Park tracks. 

The two ladies busting up the boy's club at the Transformers garbage factory? Christina Hodson and Lindsey Beer, who has an excellent last name. Have you heard of them? Unlikely, as the two have not yet had a film released (although Hodson wrote Shut In, which just wrapped with Naomi Watts in the lead), so who knows what this means. They both have a ton of scripts in development, few of which make me excited based on the loglines/titles - Beer has a Wizard of Oz remake at Warner Bros as well as a movie called How To Nail An Alien (WTF), while Hodson has a remake of The Fugitive percolating. But who knows, maybe they're like the best. 

If they are the best they're probably being wasted! I will say this for the Transformers expanded universe: if these films don't give us eye herpes we'll consider them something of a success. Has the bar ever been lower for a franchise? Seriously, if the new films aren't among the worst movies of the decade they will be an improvement on the last three Transformers movies. 

What films will Beer and Hodson be writing? Nobody knows, but here's hoping that Paramount, who backed into diversity in this franchise in the first place, ends up assigning them some sort of femme-bot movie that will make for endless thinkpieces and hot takes. Maybe a movie where Arcee tries to juggle her dating life with her duty as an Autobot!