Two More Writers Join The TRANSFORMERS Brain Train

Their first job is to play with a ton of toys.

Some jobs sound particularly awful, while others sound like dreams come true. Now I’m not saying that being in charge of creating a movie universe around the Transformers property would be the greatest thing ever, but it certainly doesn’t sound like shoveling elephant poop, either.

Akiva Goldsman’s crack team of super writers just got two more members, both of whom might actually just be fake names. First there’s Geneva Robertson-Dworet, writer of Blacklist script, Hibernation. Second we have Ken Nolan, writer of Blacklist script, The Defection which sounds a little bit like a sequel to Hibernation. The point is, if you want to be a Transformers writer, step one is to write a Blacklist script.

And you DO want to be a Transformers writer. Transformers bootcamp starts Monday for these folks. Listen to Akiva Goldsman describe their work situation:

We’ve got a work space that is beautifully production designed to be immersive with a strong sense of the franchise history. We will look at the toys, the TV shows, the merchandise, everything that has been generated by Hasbro, from popular to forgotten iterations, and establish a mythological time line. It has been designed with a lot of visual help, toys, robots, sketches and writers and artists. After that super saturation, the writers will figure out not one, but numerous films that will extend the universe.

These motherfuckers get to sit around playing with toys and watching cartoons all day. Some of those cartoons (ahem, Beast Wars) aren’t even totally awful. Speaking of Beast Wars, Goldsman also said this:

If one of the writers discovers an affinity for Beast Wars, they can drive forward on treatments that will have been fleshed out by the whole room.

That coulda been me!

The first thing these writers have to do, when they’re all done fucking around with toys, is get Michael Bay a Transformers 5. After that, we’re going to start seeing some weird ass off-shoots hit theaters. I’m honestly kind of looking forward to it, much as I hate the Transformers movies we have so far.