Amy Schumer Will Do Unspeakable Things To You If You Text In A Movie

You don't even want to know how bad.

Amy Schumer and Judd Apatow's Trainwreck is a damn-near perfect romantic comedy (read my review here), and it would be a downright shame to miss a single joke because you aren't giving it your fullest attention. So don't talk or text, or Amy will commit unspeakable horrors upon your person.

Also: tell the woman next to you that she's AMAZING. Because she is.