PSA: THE FOOT FIST WAY Is Now Available On YouTube

It's two-for-one crab leg night at Captain O'Landers.

Typically speaking, I am not a man of absolutes when it comes to other people's taste in movies. You like Kevin James movies? Rom-coms? Period pieces so painfully boring that the only reasonable reaction to them would be to claw your own eyes out? Hey, man, whatever floats your boat. You do you.

That said: there are exceptions to this outlook. Some movies act as a litmus test, and your reaction to them lets others know whether or not you're on the level.

Jaws, for instance. If someone tells you they don't like Jaws, your next move is to pivot on one heel, aim yourself towards the nearest exit, and propel yourself through that exit, never to return. Some people will tell you that all opinions matter, that every outlook is just as valid as the next. Those people are being exceptionally nice, whereas I am here to tell you that if you don't love Jaws, you are cordially invited to get fucked. 

My personal list of "Litmus Test" films numbers in the dozens, but we're not here today to catalogue those titles. We're here to discuss one title in particular:

Jody Hill's The Foot Fist Way.

The Foot Fist Way is an all-timer, a cult classic which I happen to consider mandatory viewing. It's got a small but vocal following (including many members of the Birth.Movies.Death. staff) but - much like Hill's other wildly uncomfortable disasterpiece, Observe & Report - I feel that the film remains almost criminally undervalued. On the one hand, that's a good thing: I'd be bummed if The Foot Fist Way were a Borat-style hit, with dudebros quoting it into the ground at my local watering hole. On the other hand, I fear that many of you may have let this film slip through the cracks.

Hey, it happens, and if that's the case, there's good news: Paramount Vault just uploaded the film in its entirety to YouTube. You can watch it, right now, for zero dollars. Hell, you can even do it right here:

For the uninitiated, The Foot Fist Way tells the story of Fred Simmons (Danny McBride), a blowhard Tae Kwon Do instructor eking out a very pathetic living in North Carolina. Simmons is convinced that he's God's gift to...well, everything, really. Women. His students. To Tae Kwon Do itself. He's a terrible human being, in other words, and much of the joy to be found in The Foot Fist Way comes from watching this deplorable character have a complete and total mental breakdown. Lucky for us, that's sort of the bulk of the movie. 

I will spoil the plot no further. Instead, I encourage all of you to watch this film, preferably right now, and even if it means losing your job or ending a marriage. In time, you will thank me for it.