YOGA HOSERS Gets A Poster So Beautiful It Will Change Your Preconceptions About The Film

Just kidding. It will instead make you sick and piss you off.

I don’t know what to tell you. There is a poster for Yoga Hosers now. It’s my duty to share it. Not because I think you will enjoy it. And not because I had to look at it and think others should share my pain. But because we need to be strong enough to look evil in the eye and say “Nope”:

What we have here is an image of two girls, one wielding a hockey stick because this film takes place in Canada, the other using a mop because they are surrounded by little sausage Kevin Smiths doing stupid shit. 

One Kevin Smith sausage is pointing at his nose like an asshole.

One Kevin Smith sausage is biting his thumb like an asshole.

One Kevin Smith sausage is jerking his thumb at another Kevin Smith sausage as if to say “Look at this asshole.”

One Kevin Smith sausage is coming at you like “Surprise, assholes.”

One Kevin Smith sausage is just peeking over wreckage like an asshole.

One Kevin Smith sausage looks like he didn’t know a picture was being taken.

One Kevin Smith sausage is praying. He’s the smart one.

Up top there is a bratwurst pun. Below comes the promise: “A movie for Kids from the Director of ‘Clerks’ and ‘Tusk’”. It’s not a title, so I’m not sure why “Kids” and “Director” are capitalized. I’m describing this in great detail because I don’t want any blind people getting off the hook here. We’re all in this together.

If you want to look for a bright side, we have been spared Johnny Depp’s French inspector character. So there’s that.

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