You Will Never Feel More Sorry For Christopher Walken Than In This Awful NINE LIVES Featurette

Take a second to marvel at this sanctioned nonsense.

I’ve already seen a lot of bad things today, but this is the worst so far:

That’s a featurette on the hopefully-just-an-elaborate-Onion-joke Nine Lives. The short video appears to have two functions. One is to show you a lot of Internet-famous cats. Just cause. The other is to force Christopher Walken to talk about how much he enjoys cats. Telling you why you might want to watch the movie is not on the agenda.

But hey! Maybe you do want to watch the movie. I’m half convinced myself. Really, the only thing it’s missing is a strong Jai Courtney appearance.

Nine Lives comes out this Friday. Unless it was just a joke all long.