The New MONSTER TRUCKS Trailer Is Here! The New MONSTER TRUCKS Trailer Is Here!

Please read that headline in the style of Navin R. Johnson.

Every once in a while, a movie comes along whose existence is just flat-out baffling.

Such is the case with Paramount's Monster Trucks, a family-friendly, would-be franchise-starter which appears to be ill-conceived on every possible level (and before you leap to Monster Trucks' defense, be aware that Paramount seems to agree with me). 

Yikes, folks. Yikes. 

Monster Trucks - the cast of which includes Jane Levy, Thomas Lennon, Rob Lowe, Amy Ryan (!!!), Barry Pepper and Danny Glover - appears to have suffered a series of catastrophic failures on its way to the screen. Despite costing over $115M, the film looks jarringly low-rent. The Monster itself (apparently named "Creech") is unpleasant to look at. If the trailers we've seen thus far are any indication, the performances might charitably be called "stilted". You look at the trailer above and your mind reels to think that anyone believed this was a good idea.

Anyway, here's the official plot synopsis. There will be a quiz later, so please take notes:

Looking for any way to get away from the life and town he was born into, Tripp (Lucas Till), a high school senior, builds a Monster Truck from bits and pieces of scrapped cars. After an accident at a nearby oil-drilling site displaces a strange and subterranean creature with a taste and a talent for speed, Tripp may have just found the key to getting out of town and a most unlikely friend. 

Monster Trucks opens on January 13th. Funeral services will be held on the 14th.