John Cusack Vapes And Nicolas Cage Wears This Wig In The First Trailer For ARSENAL

This is actually happening.

I need all of you to shut your lips and watch the following trailer immediately.

This is, as far as I can tell, the first trailer for Steven C. Miller's Arsenal, starring John Cusack (Hot Tub Time Machine), Adrian Grenier (Entourage: The Movie), Jonathon Schaech (Marauders) and Academy Award-winner Nicolas Cage (Pay The Ghost). As you may have noticed, it looks bananas.

Here's the official plot synopsis:

A powerful action thriller, Arsenal tells the intertwining stories of the Lindel brothers, Mikey (Johnathon Schaech) and JP (Adrian Grenier), who had only each other to rely on growing up. As adults, JP found success as the owner of a construction company, while Mikey became a small-time mobster, mired in a life of petty crime.

When Mikey is kidnapped and held for a ransom by ruthless crime boss Eddie King (Nicolas Cage), JP turns to the brothers’ old pal Sal (John Cusack), a plain clothes detective for help. In order to rescue his brother, JP must risk everything and unleash his vengeance against King’s relentless army of gangsters.

That sounds fine and all, but my feeling is that this plot synopsis undersells both the "John Cusack constantly vaping" and "Nicolas Cage wearing that wig" aspects of the production. I mean, that's got me sold more than anything else here. 

According to the YouTube listing for this trailer, Arsenal arrives in actual theaters on January 6th, 2017. Be there.