And Now, An In-Depth Breakdown Of The ALIEN: COVENANT Trailer

That's right, we made our own ALIEN: COVENANT stills.

Twentieth Century Fox spent the past week dropping one Alien: Covenant still after another on us, all while teasing the forthcoming arrival of the Alien: Covenant trailer. After six straight days of this, they finally revealed that the trailer would arrive on Christmas Day ... which is why some of us went to bed early last night: we wanted to be up bright and early to take in all that red-hot Xeno-on-doomed-human action! 

Turned out, this was one final troll on behalf of the Alien: Covenant marketing department: they dropped the trailer late last night, on Christmas Eve. Well-played, Twentieth Century Fox.

Anyway, now that we've had some time to absorb, let's take a closer look at the trailer. It's a good one.

The trailer opens with bloody footprints. Not quite Xenomorph footprints, but definitely not human, either. Perhaps these belong to the Proto-morph we've heard about.

Here we have a classic Alien scenario: one crew member's safely on one side of a locked door (safe for now, anyway), while the other crew members are trapped in a room with...

...this poor, unfortunate soul. This shot seems to confirm what we've been hearing for a long time: that Alien: Covenant would feature a new strain of Xenormorph, one which erupts from the back of a human body rather than the front. More on this in a moment.

Here's a shot of android David (Michael Fassbender) encountering what I'm pretty sure is an android named Walter (also played by Michael Fassbender). We saw Walter playing that same piano in one of the stills Twentieth Century Fox released earlier in the week.

Here's another look at Walter. See? Same as David. Not sure if David will approve of those Louis XIV frames, though. Garish af, Walter.

Here's the good ship Covenant reaching the planet where Alien: Covenant takes place. This, I'm assuming, is where David has ended up following the events of Prometheus. Don't quote me on this, but my understanding is that David's been using this planet as the location for a very sinister series of genetic experiments.

We're then treated to a series of shots of the Covenant crew, starting with this shot of Michael Fassbender. I'm assuming this is Walter, and that - in a very remarkable coincidence (OR IS IT) - he happens to be traveling with the exact crew which is about to run into David. Interesting.

Also on the crew: Danny McBride, now a literal space cowboy. There's more McBride in this trailer than I think any of us were expecting, and I'm kinda getting the feeling that he might be a badass (watch out for that shot later in the trailer where he hands Katherine Waterston a gun).

The crew, now in a dropship, lands on the surface of David's Planet of Horrors (at one point, I believe this planet was being referred to as "Paradise", but I'm honestly not sure if that's still the case).

The crew, led by Walter (again, we're assuming that's Walter!), exits the dropship. 

Hey, this place doesn't look so bad! It's got lakes, mountains, maybe some wheat...

...and these things. These things are very bad news for the crew of the Covenant. Break these pods open, and you release...

...airborne spores. These spores enter through the ear canal, and...well, they don't make you more healthy, let's just say that.

A very Ripley-esque Katherine Waterston consults with Billy Crudup, who's apparently playing the captain of the Covenant. Didn't we hear that James Franco was playing the captain at one point? Hm, apparently not.

The Covenant crew goes hiking, presumably in search of whoever sent the distress signal ("distress signal") that brought them here.

Well, well, well. Lookie what we have here: it's the ship we last saw being piloted by David at the end of Prometheus. Wonder where Shaw (Noomi Rapace) is at.

The crew enters the ship. Maybe those dogtags are a clue to Shaw's whereabouts.

Meanwhile, Billy Crudup has stumbled upon a very unfortunate situation. That probably won't end well for him...

...uh, Billy Crudup? You may want to...

...stand back...

...welp. Too late.

Meanwhile, back at the dropship: more bad news. 

The crew, sent into a state of panic, is protecting the dropship when a mysterious figure emerges from the darkness. My money's on this being David, come to greet the humans who were stupid enough to land on his planet. 

A very somber-looking Danny McBride considers the situation...

...before handing Katherine Waterston a gun...

...and following along right behind her. You guys, I think McBride's gonna be a badass in this movie.

Now we arrive at the trailer's money shot sequence: a shower sex scene which gets very rudely interrupted by a Xenomorph.

The water in this scene makes grabbing good screencaps a little difficult, but if you look closely you can see the Xenomorph's shadow entering in the top right. Somewhat famously, the original script for Prometheus featured a sex scene interrupted by a chestburster. That got cut, fans cried foul when they found out later (how do you leave out that scene?!), and now it looks like Ridley Scott - with the help of screenwriter John Logan - has returned to that well to put things right. Good work, team.

This Xenomorph just initiated a three-way.

"Room for one more?"

"Or, uh, one less?"

We then smash-cut to the title card, which fades in the "Covenant" a la the title treatment in the original Alien

What do you guys think? Are you into this? Because I'm way into all of this. I dig the amount of handheld camerawork here (this brings a nice sense of immediacy to things), and I think Covenant looks more like a full-tilt horror movie than Prometheus was. 

While we're waiting on the movie to arrive, feel free to comb through the trailer yourself and pick out anything I may have missed. Please leave your findings in the comments below. 

Here it is again, for reference: