You’re mom loves you. She’s a good person, and nothing makes her happier than hearing of your happiness.
Well, almost nothing. Your mother’s also a red-blooded woman with needs. And unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do to quench that but send her this new Fifty Shades Darker trailer:
Maybe you skimped on a good Christmas present. Maybe you fought with her new boyfriend about Trump over the holidays. Let this brief look at hot drama that comes with dating a billionaire S&M muscle bag help make up for it.
As for the trailer, who the fuck knows? It looks like Mister Darker needs to woo back Missy Darker, but his past is going to haunt him. It’s curious that this time there will be “no rules” (which means fisting is back on the table) and “no punishments” (which is not only a rule, but means all S&M is off). Girl needs to make up her mind. Oh no wait, I get it. He’s supposed to do that for her. Hot!
I don’t know when Fifty Shades Darker comes out, but don’t call your mom that day.