ISOLATION Trailer: Stephen Lang Proves Pirates Still Aren’t Cool

My man will put a corkscrew to your throat.

This is a special trailer. I mean that in a bad way, but you should definitely still watch it:

Aside from the obvious bad bits - the low grade actors, the overly-dramatic voice-over - there is something amazing going on with this trailer. Some of them are simple. The fake drama is think enough for this to be a parody trailer. And I’m especially fond of the way the main guy says “life is good” as though he’s just been roofied.

But the crown bit is that Stephen Lang plays a fucking pirate. Not a cool pirate, either, but a dork pirate. A dork pirate who seems to have a thing for threatening people with non-traditional weapons, like he’s the Kevin McCallister of pirates.

For instance, here he is with a nailgun:

And here he is with a corkscrew:

And here’s another shot of him with a nailgun:

They probably just left out the part where he swings a paint can at them. If any of you end up watching this film, please let me know what other items Lang uses to shiver people’s tinders.