The headline over at The Hollywood Reporter reads, "Shia LaBeouf's Man Down Likely to End U.K. Run With Just 3 Tickets Sold", which wouldn't be the least bit upsetting to any of us here at Birth.Movies.Death. were it not for the fact that Jai Courtney also stars in Man Down.
We'll get to the lecture in a minute, but for now, here's the news
"(Man Down) — starring Shia LaBeouf as a PTSD-suffering U.S. soldier returning home from Afghanistan — made headlines Tuesday after it was found have opened in the U.K. with just one solitary person buying a cinema ticket.
However, speaking to the cinema manager, The Hollywood Reporter has learned that the film has since trebled its box-office takings.
"I think we've sold three tickets in total," she revealed, adding that she hadn't "experienced anything like it before."
Yes, despite featuring Jai Courtney in a sizable supporting role, and despite the fact that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are way more than three Birth.Movies.Death. readers living in the UK (perhaps as many as a dozen!), Man Down earned just $26 during its theatrical run across the pond. UK-based BMD readers are encouraged to look inside themselves and ask why they let this happen, how Jai Courtney must feel about it, and how they can prevent it from ever happening again.
To be fair, Man Down played in only one UK theater. And to be even more fair, the trailer was pretty damn underwhelming. But still: Jai Courtney is one of Birth.Movies.Death.'s Favorite Sons, and deserves so much better than this.
Let's not let this happen again.