Neve Campbell Will Star Opposite The Rock In SKYSCRAPER

You have to read this insane plot synopsis.

According to Deadline, Neve Campbell will join The Rock in Skyscraper, the would-be 3D blockbuster Legendary's due to release next summer. That's a mildly interesting piece of casting news, I suppose, but it's far less interesting than the utterly bonkers plot synopsis also featured in Deadline's report.

Here's what Skyscraper's about:

"Johnson stars as a former FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader and war veteran who now assesses security for skyscrapers. On assignment in China he finds the tallest, safest building in the world suddenly ablaze, and he’s been framed for it. A wanted man on the run, he must find those responsible, clear his name and somehow rescue his family who are trapped inside the building above the fire line."

With apologies to the lovely Neve Campbell, this plot synopsis is the real star of this particular post. Lot to unpack here! For starters, why is The Rock a former FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader? What tragedy lurks in this courageous man's past? Secondly, why is the "tallest, safest building" on the planet "suddenly ablaze"? Why is The Rock being framed for it? Was that really the best plan The Rock's unknown nemesis could come up with? Arson? And what's this about The Rock being "on the run"? Doesn't the whole movie take place in and around the titular building? And on top of everything else: if The Rock's "on assignment in China", why is his family also in this flaming building? Does he bring them to work with him? Do they live there for some reason? So many questions, so precious few answers.

Perhaps you were already aware of all the above. If so, congratulations: you got all the news that was fit to print in the very first sentence of this post! But for those of you who, like me, hadn't actually heard Skyscraper's plot synopsis before now: welcome to your new life. 

Skyscraper arrives on July 13th, 2018.