The New GEOSTORM Trailer Is Everything The World Needs Right Now

Neil deGrasse Tyson is going to HATE this movie.

It’s likely I’ll never find true love in this life. Before today, that really bummed me out. Now I’m kind of okay with it:

Geostorm and I will get married and have a cabinet of beautiful, rock-stupid babies who will one day be able to vote. You will hate the GeoSaathoffs and rage against us on Twitter, but we won’t hear you on our march to the world domination. Because I’ll be the only one who can work a computer.

Holy shit, I wish I could see this movie right now. All the ingredients are there: Gerard Butler as a denim astronaut, Andy Garcia acting through old man phlegm bubbles, shoddy CG and tons of totally ridiculous, big-titted movie science. Ed Harris! I am totally in love, and it’s going to be a long wait until October.