It’s difficult to decipher just who the hell this new version of Agatha Christie’s Murder On the Orient Express is for. On one hand, you’ve got Kenneth Branagh, sporting a baroque mustache and goofy Belgian accent as world famous investigator Hercule Poirot (marking him as roughly the 901st great British actor to portray the mystery icon). On the other, you have Imagine Dragons blasting through both trailers, while Josh Gad pops up just in time to mug and remind you we should never cast Josh Gad in anything, ever.
Take a look:
There’s so much about this spot that doesn’t make sense. The amount of Johnny Depp being showcased here is disconcerting. Then there’s the giant neon sign at the very end declaring that we can catch this movie (which was also helmed by Branagh, visual mastermind behind the epic tableaus of Marvel’s Thor) in 70mm. But then look at the rest of that cast: Willem Dafoe, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Daisy Ridley – that’s one hell of an ensemble for a movie Fox apparently has no idea how to sell.
Anyway, Murder on the Orient Express arrives in theaters November 10. It’s about a murder that happens on a train. Will you watch it? Will anyone?