Ryan Reynolds Will Play Detective Pikachu In DETECTIVE PIKACHU

In which 2017 continues to be a hallucinatory nightmare from which we cannot awaken.

In 2017, Donald Trump is President, Mister Sulu is a possible sex pest, OJ Simpson is walking around as a free man, and Ryan Reynolds will be playing a sentient yellow blob who solves crimes and speaks with a funny voice. The world is strange, and I'm not sure I'm long for it anymore. 

That's right, to pile onto this acid-tinged descent into oblivion we call reality, Ryan Reynolds is really doing his part by taking the titular role as Detective Pikachu in the live-action film Detective Pikachu. That's a real sentence I just got paid to write, and I'm not sure I'm proud of that. 

Reynolds (Deadpool, durr) joins Justice Smith (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom), and Kathryn Newton (Big Little Lies) in the Rob Letterman (Goosebumps) helmed project, which is due to start shooting mid-January in London. It has not been disclosed as to whether Reynolds will be wearing a big yellow fluffy suit, or if his character will be completely mo-capped. I vote for the former. 

According to THR: "Pikachu is a species of Pokemon, while Detective Pikachu the character is a peculiar sort from the Pikachu set, a self-styled investigator who is good at finding things." These are things I wouldn't know because I'm a grown fucking man, but I hope your kids are happy.