Have you seen Mom & Dad yet? If you haven't, you should stop reading this article and check out Mom & Dad (don't worry, we'll be here when you get back).
Director Brian Taylor - who also helmed the Crank duology with Mark Neveldine (forming the rather brilliant hyperkinetic filmmaking duo Neveldine/Taylor) - has been doing press rounds for his film since TIFF (including an interview with yours truly), and upon stopping by The Movie Crypt podcast with Joe Lynch and Adam Green, got pretty real about why we only ever received two pictures featuring Jason Statham's brutal, bloody, sexed-up Looney Tune Chev Chelios:
“The prospects for Crank 3 would be much improved if the second movie had made more than $12 at the box office. So there really isn’t like a Fast & Furious financial incentive to do it, right?"
Yet Taylor didn't rule out the possibility of Crank Three entirely (and outlined what it'd take to get the duo to do another one):
"My feeling about Crank 3 is that Crank 3 should be as exponentially more fucked up than Crank 2 as Crank 2 was Crank 1. Obviously, there’s been talk here and there but I’ve never really felt that creatively it was fucked up enough to really do. Because the studio will get in contact with us: ‘What do you guys think about this?’ ‘What do you guys think about that?’ And the scenarios are always very tame compared to what I think it should be."
I mean, High Voltage featured Chev Chelios raw dogging his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) on a race track while a giant horse cock flew over her face, after sodomizing a thug with a shotgun (and before turning into a kaiju and beating down another bad dude), so "more fucked up" is definitely going to be a challenge. But they might be up for it (and way more):
“Obviously, there’s a great movie there somewhere. I don’t know if it’s going to be Jason Statham in a wheelchair, 40 years from now. I think there should be a Crank cinematic universe. Not just one movie. So who knows? There’s nothing in the works right now. But you never know. Me and Mark are brothers for life."
Look, in a world where we get a Star Wars or MCU movie each year, I don't think it'd be out of line to hope for a whole slew of Chelios adventures, where he just decimates everything in his path. Can someone, anyone, in Hollywood make this happen? Pretty please?