Last year, DC Comics unveiled a new limited series which featured an interesting gimmick: DC heroes meeting famous Looney Tunes characters. Batman went on the hunt with Elmer Fudd, Wonder Woman met (checks notes) the Tasmanian Devil, and Jonah Hex crossed paths with Yosemite Sam. It was a fun, weird little experiment, but one we admittedly didn't pay much attention to while it was happening.
Well, yesterday The Hollywood Reporter exclusively revealed that DC's back at it again with the iconic character mash-ups, and this time we are most certainly paying attention. How could we not, when the results are this terrifying?
Here we have Lex Luthor shaving and/or giving a haircut to an alarmingly real-looking Porky Pig. If you aren't wildly unnerved by this image, you are made of stronger stuff than this writer; I will be forever haunted by this sight, my eyes forever drawn to Porky's human hands, red socks, and unhinged grimace.
Here's the plot synopsis for Lex Luthor/Porky Pig Special #1:
"Facing financial and personal ruin, a desperate Porky Pig applies for and gets an entry-level position at LexCorp. Grateful to his new benefactor, Porky becomes Luthor’s most loyal employee and defender. But when a major scandal breaks in the news and Lex is called before a congressional committee, guess who is about to be offered up as the sacrificial pig?"
Jesus.
Here we have the Joker meeting (and intending to murder???) Daffy Duck, whose legs and facial expression are both abominations before God. Here's what happens in The Joker/Daffy Duck Special #1:
"When Daffy Duck pays a call to the Acme corporate headquarters in Gotham City, he finds the company long gone and its abandoned building occupied by The Joker. With a hit in progress, Daffy tries to sneak away, only to find himself in the clutches of the Clown Prince of Crime. But Joker decides that there’s some potential in this manic bird and forces Daffy to join his gang. Will he find a way to escape… or will he become The Joker’s new right-hand duck?"
According to THR, each of these Specials will be 48 pages in length, with half the book featuring an adventure set within the grittier, more realistic-looking DC universe, and a second half taking place in the Looney Tunes reality. The very idea of the Joker capering about Toon Town makes our blood run cold.
Maybe you were worried that Harley Quinn and Gossamer (that giant, furry red thing that wears sneakers) weren't going to star in a comic book together. As it turns out, your worries were unfounded: that shit is happening, it is canon, and you'll be able to see it all in Harley Quinn/Gossamer Special #1, which tells the following story:
"A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends — a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?"
We've always kinda thought of Gossamer as something of a teddy bear-type, but that's definitely an image of him eating a dog (not sure what the rotting beaver in the bottom-right corner's all about, but we suspect that the less questions we ask about that, the better).
So, Catwoman/Tweet & Sylvester Special #1 is probably the least-horrifying book in this series. It's a little disturbing to imagine Sylvester shredding Tweety Bird with his razor sharp claws and needle-like teeth, but that's still a far cry from Porky Pig's grotesque mug, or Gossamer murdering a dog, Mike Huckabee's-son style.
Here's what happens in this one:
"In his relentless pursuit of Tweety, Sylvester suddenly finds himself with a new, human ally — Catwoman! Tweety then realizes that he’s going to need some help, too, and recruits a superhero of his own, Black Canary! It isn’t long before the scale of the conflict begins to get out of control and suddenly there’s a full-scale war between cats and birds that threatens to take over all of Gotham."
Each of these specials will arrive via DC Comics this summer. You can learn more about them in THR's original report, or you can just mosey on down to the comments section to scream uncontrollably, and at length, and until unconsciousness overtakes you.