UPDATED: Drop What You’re Doing And Watch This Trailer For Sly Stallone’s Line Of Watches

Whatever you're imagining, it's even weirder.

UPDATE: So, turns out the video below is five years old. Believe it or not, we'd simply never encountered it before. In any event, we're leaving the rest of the post as-is, on the off-chance that you, too, never got a chance to see it. Big apologies to anyone who was hoping to pick up one of these watches or pens for themselves: they're apparently long gone.

Recently, I was minding my own business on Twitter when I came across this:

Needless to say, I was delighted: a line of watches and ink pens designed, in a style best described as "unrestrained Ed Hardy", by Sylvester Stallone? Oh, this was very exciting news, indeed. But then it got infinitely better:

Your eyes do not deceive you: that is a nearly four-minute trailer for Chaos, Sylvester Stallone's personally-designed line of watches and pens, which have apparently been brought into the world with the help of the Montegrappa company. It features voiceover work from Stallone himself, along with the kind of bleeding-edge CGI we haven't seen since The Mind's Eye was a thing, way back in the early '90s. Needless to say, this trailer has completely derailed productivity behind the scenes at BMD.

Obviously we had to share it with you.

A quick glance at the Montegrappa website reveals a pirate-themed watch and pen set, but nothing about Chaos (see update above). Obviously, we will be keeping our ear to the ground for further updates on the release of Stallone's new line of luxury timepieces and writing instruments, and will keep you informed as further updates roll in. In the meantime: what do you think? Do you prefer the silver or the gold watch, and which will you be buying for your significant other this Christmas? Sound off in the comments below.