LEGENDS OF TOMORROW 4.07 Review “Hell No, Dolly!”

Give us an episode of Mick and Ava being pissed at each other, please.

This post contains spoilers for Legends of Tomorrow.
Check out last week's review here.

Legends of Tomorrow remains the total package with romance, heartbreak, possessed dolls, and a love triangle that includes a werewolf. The Legends head to New Orleans to find a serial killer while Gary pines for Mona at the Time Bureau. Constantine’s supposed to be helping the Legends with their murderer problem, but he gets a little caught up in his past. And then he destroys time.

John Constantine isn’t a “love” kinda guy. He’ll sleep with anything with two legs, but his heart belongs to no one. As it turns out, it belongs to no one because the someone it did belong to is dead, and there’s a whole lot of complicated factors surrounding his passing. The man’s name was Desmond. Johnny boy found himself in love almost immediately, but demons have a way of catching up with you when you’re at your happiest.

No, literally. A demon named Neron came looking for John, and his soul. Realizing that he wouldn’t get John, Neron tied himself to Desmond, and John was forced to send them both to the depts of hell. So, if you were wondering why John’s been extra salty lately, just know that it’s from all the tears he refuses to shed in public.

Let’s hop over to the serial killer! Said killer is a magical creature who’s possessed a doll. Mick toasts him pretty quick, but he’s not from Supernatural, so he didn’t know he had to salt it first for the burning to stick. You’re surely tired of me telling you how bonkers this big dumb show is, but please know that this next bit is absolutely serious: the creature returns to possess Captain Cold’s Martin Stein puppet, then continues his quest to try to murder the inhabitants of the Waverider.

That’s a lot going on in one episode. There can’t possibly be more, right? Wrong! There’s a love triangle afoot at the Time Bureau, and it’s not one-hundred-percent human. Mona’s having a pretty terrible day, but she makes up for it by trying to make the prisoners happy. She’s grown attached to Konane the werewolf, and has no idea that Gary’s in love with her. In this house we love and support Gary Green, but we might also be team Konane? He might of clawed her just a teensie bit, but he was trying to defend her from the creep brigade!

We don’t know what Mona’s fate will be yet, because John completely screwed time. Knowing that Dez’s fate was his fault, Constantine changes the timeline. Zari tries to explain that he and Desmond meeting is a fixed point in the timeline, but John ignores her and continues his mission. Please change all “This Spaceship Has Gone ____ Days Without Breaking Time” signs to zero.

With the timeline being utterly destroyed, the Legends of Tomorrow won’t be able to make it to next week’s big crossover event. While that’s sad, it looks like they’ll have plenty of things to occupy themselves with while John tries to undo his mistake. Zari’s a cat, you guys. She can’t stay a cat! Who’s going to be quietly annoyed while still helping all of her idiot friends?

Shout out below with your thoughts on this week’s episode!