The other day, Paramount revealed the very first poster for next year's Sonic The Hedgehog, a CGI/live-action adaptation of the immortal video game series. Our post on the matter was titled "First SONIC THE HEDGEHOG Poster Will Make You Scream OH DEAR GOD WHY DOES SONIC LOOK LIKE THAT", and if anything we downplayed the horror of that poster, which revealed Sonic as a lithe, fur-covered monstrosity with beady eyes and a disconcertingly muscular physique.
Naturally, we assumed that was as bad as things were gonna get.
Looks like we may have been wrong.
apparently a poster for Sonic The Hedgehog movie pic.twitter.com/WUrBpN7pOr— Wario64 (@Wario64) December 12, 2018
This is, allegedly, a second Sonic The Hedgehog poster, as spotted by Twitter user Wario64. It features Sonic perched atop the Golden Gate bridge, his inexplicably sexy legs dangling over the edge while a "speed trail" (I mean, what else are we supposed to call that?) trails off into the distance, showing us the path Sonic took to get to that vantage point. It also kind of looks like we're seeing things from the point of view of Sonic's junk, a thing that is both terrifying to consider and impossible not to see once the thought has crossed your mind.
Is this poster legit? Apparently, Paramount has not yet confirmed, but we have a sneaking suspicion that it is. As you might expect, the entire Birth.Movies.Death. crew is beside itself with excitement over the staggeringly ill-advised nature of this thing, and felt inclined to pass that jubilant feeling along to you. Don't say we never gave ya nothin'.
Stay tuned for more on Sonic The Hedgehog as further updates become available.