Last week, following the reveal of two profoundly disturbing Sonic The Hedgehog movie posters, we decided a launch a contest challenging our readers to create their own off-putting Sonic one-sheets. Over the course of three days, the entries came flooding in. Some were sexual. Some were violent. Some were wholly inexplicable. All of them made us very uncomfortable, and for that you have our eternal gratitude (you can look through all the entries over at this page, should you wish to ruin your own day).
It was enormously difficult, whittling all those entries down to just three winners, but we did it. Here they are, along with a bit of commentary explaining why each one was chosen.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG - LASSO EDITION by Sam Haft
Frequent readers of the site might recall that the Birth.Movies.Death. staff is crazy 'bout Lasso, the recently-released horror movie wherein a bunch of cannibal cowboys hunt and kill a bus full of old people. That Mr. Haft chose to base his Sonic poster on that film's one-sheet was, let's face it, probably a transparent attempt to curry favor with the BMD staff. What can we say? It worked.
HEDGEHOGS - by Gil Brooks
We saw a number of entries that played up the weirdly muscular legs from the first Sonic The Hedgehog poster, but very few took the ball and ran in the other direction. Mr. Brooks did, though, and the result (which incorporates the classic one-sheet for 1995's Showgirls) carefully walks a line between unsettlingly sexy and, well, just unsettling.
SONIC THE HELLBOUND HEDGEHOG - by Graham Hart
This one is hands down my personal overall favorite. It has everything: Clive Barker, a physically-repellent Sonic (Jesus wept, indeed), a pitch-perfect tagline, an unpleasant (yet oddly compelling) background and a glorious title treatment. Mr. Hart has even reimagined the Lament Configuration in the form of one of Sonic's beloved gold rings. There is a lot going on in this one, and I knew almost immediately upon seeing it that it'd make the final cut. What a genuinely horrific piece of work.
If you're one of our three winners: please hit the comments below to provide me with either your email address or your Twitter handle, so that I can get in touch and obtain your shipping addresses. Your names will be added to a list, and you'll be receiving one (1) copy of the next Birth.Movies.Death. collectible magazine on me for your efforts. Everyone else: thanks so much for entering. Your work (all of which, again, can be viewed in the comments section on this post) truly inspired and horrified us.
Sonic The Hedgehog hits theaters on Nov. 8th, 2019.