Robert Zemeckis Is Still Hellbent On Remaking THE WITCHES

The director says his version will bet set in the "gothic south," which shouldn't be problematic at all.

If Welcome to Marwen proved anything, it's that letting Robert Zemeckis continue to make movies is the most irresponsible thing rich white men have done (give or take a border wall). And yet, despite making a movie that was somehow worse than Life Itself, Zemeckis shows no signs of stopping. It brings me no joy to tell you that he remains committed to remaking The Witches – the Nicolas Roeg cult classic based on the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. And oh boy, does he have some Ideas about it. Speaking with French outlet Allocine, Zemeckis explains that he's making a significant change to the setting of Dahl's original story, which splits its time between Norway and the United Kingdom and follows an elderly retired witch hunter and her grandson as they try to dismantle an underground coven of witches led by the powerful Grand High Witch (played in the Roeg film by her majesty Anjelica Huston). 

This is what Zemeckis has to say about his remake/re-adaptation: 

“We’re going to set it in the Gothic South in the 1960s. It’s an exciting way to put a sociological spin on this kind of witch story.”

First of all, old white man Robert Zemeckis has no business setting anything in the "Gothic South in the 1960s." Especially when he throws down with the whole "sociological spin," which almost certainly implies race relations. You might not think that movies could get any worse than Welcome to Marwen. You also might not believe that Robert Zemeckis remaking The Witches could be any worse than its mere existence. You'd be wrong on both counts.

Next thing you know, he'll be having Jacob Tremblay do a full uncanny valley mo-cap performance of the Grand High Witch. (Actually I would watch that.)