And Now, The 100% True* Story Behind The New X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX Poster

* = May not be 100% true.

(Two months ago. Meeting at 20th Century Fox headquarters, production offices for Simon Kinberg's X-Men: Dark Phoenix.)

PRODUCER: "We've finished the latest round of reshoots."


PRODUCER: "And you know what that means."

INTERN: "..."


INTERN: "... another round of reshoots?"

PRODUCER: "No, I think we're done this time. What we need is a poster."

INTERN: "Oh, I can do that. I've already got a pitch."

PRODUCER: "Go on."

INTERN: "Well, what if - seeing as how this is probably the last X-Men movie this studio will make before being absorbed into the gaping maw of the Disney/20th Century Fox merger - we go all out. Do it up right. I'm suggesting we pull out all the stops. We've got a cast comprised of veterans and newcomers, some of whom are amongst the biggest stars in the world. We're working with a classic X-Men storyline (one, it must be said, that most people don't feel was done justice by X-Men: The Last Stand) and it's filled with dynamic characters and imagery. We've also got untold millions of dollars at our disposal to hire any artist in the world, so maybe we bring in someone like Drew Struzan to paint something classic and beautiful. Maybe we lean more modern, bring in someone like Olly Moss to deliver an image that's both witty and instantly iconic. The bottom line is, we can do whatever we want, and given that many people are already skeptical of this movie given its production problems, I think that a big, serious poster would tell the world, 'We didn't fuck this thing up, we know what we're doing, and you should start taking this release seriously."

PRODUCER: "Absolutely not. Do Photoshop."

INTERN: "k."

X-Men: Dark Phoenix hits theaters on June 7th.