RIVERDALE 3.14 Review “Fire Walk With Me”

No, Fred, I’m pretty sure he’s an idiot.

This post contains spoilers for Riverdale.
Check out our last review here.

You ever look at a person and wonder how they’ve survived long enough for the two of you to cross paths? That’s Archie Andrews. Dude means well, but when you’re out here getting played like a fiddle by a ten-year-old you’ve never even met, it might be some time for a little introspection. “Fire Walk with Me” follows all of our faves as they continue to run the town better than their parents. For our Twin Peaks fans, I’ll be honest with you from the jump: I’ve never seen the show. With that said, I’d love to hear your favorite references in the comments! In the meantime, to the episode!

We’ve pretty much covered Archie’s story, but since he’s tied to the Serpents we can shift on over to the gang drama. The Pretty Poisons, The Ghoulies, and The Serpents are all in states of transition. The Poisons are so new that they haven’t found an identity; The Ghoulies/Gargoyle are fractured between The Serpents and those that defected rather than join up; and The Serpents are finding out who they are under a new leader.

Gangs aren’t necessarily known for their chill, especially when they’ve got too much downtime. Couple that with antagonistic leaders like Kurtz and Cheryl, and there’s bound to be some bloodshed. The one obvious caveat there is that Cheryl isn’t the leader of the Poisons, Toni is. She gets a chance to illustrate why when Veronica comes to her and her girls for help protecting the Speakeasy. Choni status: not on great ground right now.

While Toni’s solution comes to her by way of Veronica, Jughead’s got a more complex problem on his hands. The Ghoulies are notorious druggies who don’t want to be where they are, and the legacy Serpents haven’t quite found their rhythm since Jug took over. He struggles with what to do for much of the episode, but is pushed into action when Kurtz and another Ghoulie/Gargoyle loyalist try to drop Fangs on his head from the top of the stairs.

The Serpents might have lost their gig protecting the Speakeasy to the Poisons, but Jug lands them a better one. The Southside Serpents will be deputized by the Sheriff’s office to act as the eyes and ears around town. In exchange for their work, they’ll both be paid and earn credits to go towards college. It’s really sweet of FP and his son to think that half of them are going to live that long.

Betty falls to the wayside while all of the drama unfolds with her friends. We do finally get some solid Jughead and Archie time, but Betty and Veronica remain woefully separated. Though apart, the besties both continue their trend of getting shit done on their own. The Speakeasy is now both Gladys and Hiram free, and Betty got the opportunity to continue the trend of Blossom women burning shit to the ground when they don’t get their way!

That’s mostly reductive and unfair. Cheryl absolutely should have burned that nonsense to the ground, and I suspect the Cooper residence will still remain standing, but be damaged enough that Alice’s buyer elects to back out. After all, where the hell is Betty going to stay otherwise? The Jones family trailer is well past capacity, staying at Archie’s would likely result in her dying by proxy, the Pembrooke is a silver-spooned nightmare, and Kevin, well, Kevin’s gone bye-bye. His walking over the coals was the only fire walking reference I got. I’m sorry, I know I’ve failed you.

Riverdale’s got a rough road ahead of them. I typically hate this word, but the sudden loss of Luke Perry is simply unfair. He was such a light to everyone around him, and the level of heart he brought to the show cannot go understated. A brief tribute was paid to him tonight, and it’s currently unclear how Fred’s exit will be handled, but it’s a loss that I suspect none of the cast or crew will heal from anytime soon. Love to all of them, and to anyone else hurting from the loss of such an incredible person. 

Comments are open for episode talk, Twin Peaks explaining, and for anyone who needs a space to remember.