NOTE: This post was written by J. Jonah Jameson, editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle.
Sony unveiled three new posters for Jon Watts' Spider-Man: Far From Home this morning, and we are disheartened and enraged to see that each of them features Spider-Man being a typically-boorish American tourist: barging into areas he doesn't belong in, dangling from bits of architecture that could crumble at a moment's notice, doing the three-point landing favored by all "superhero" freaks on a freshly-mopped German floor. It's a disgrace. He's a menace.
Let's take a look.
These pictures don't lie, folks! This sort of behavior's flat-out shameful, and proof positive that the so-called "Spider-Man" is no better than the "villains" he's helped put behind bars. New York City may have lost its mind and decided this bonehead's buffoonery is worth celebrating, but that doesn't mean he should be allowed to get away with his obnoxious behavior while traveling abroad. Who even approved this clown's passport? Get him down off those beautiful structures and back to America where we can dole out some actual justice, that's what I say!
Spider-Man: Far From Home hits theaters on July 5th. I won't be seeing it.