Warning: This post may contain highly sensitive Star Wars: Episode IX spoilers.
Earlier today, Disney rolled out its big CinemaCon presentation (read our reports on the first 17 minutes of Toy Story 4 and a brand-new sequence from Avengers: Endgame via those hyperlinks), and the whole thing kicked off with an interesting little video montage: footage from a number of Disney and 20th Century Fox classics, both past and present.
The idea, of course, was to highlight the joining of forces that the Disney/20th Century Fox merger represents: Aliens rubbing shoulders with Beauty and The Beast, footage from the Avengers movies interspersed with moments from the original X-Men, James Mangold's forthcoming Ford v. Ferrari juxtaposed against shots from Guy Ritchie's Aladdin. "A whole new world", indeed.
Towards the end of this montage, we were shown roughly two seconds worth of footage from JJ Abrams' forthcoming (and as-yet-untitled) Star Wars: Episode IX. What follows is my exclusive breakdown of that two seconds worth of footage, which I've managed to compile via an exhaustive investigative process involving a technique known as "Deep Memory Recall" and looking at my own Twitter feed from several hours ago. If you are sensitive to spoilers, you should leave right now and not come back until January of 2020, long after Star Wars: Episode IX has been released and you've had a chance to watch it fourteen or fifteen times.
Here's how the footage breaks down:
- A single shot of Rey (Daisy Ridley), Poe (Oscar Isaac), Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) and Finn (John Boyega) in the Millenium Falcon.
Obviously, this exclusive footage set CinemaCon's minds whirling: what business do these characters have on the Millenium Falcon? Did their various positions within the scene offer any clue as to the mysteries that await us in Star Wars: Episode IX? Why was Adam Driver's Kylo Ren not present in the scene - is he even in this movie? What are they hiding? Why did I just spend 10 minutes writing up literally two seconds worth of footage, when I could be back over at Caesar's Palace getting absolutely fleeced by yet another bartender peddling $10 bottles of domestic beer? Perhaps that one answers itself.
Please stay tuned for further Important Journalism from CinemaCon 2019.