Remain Calm: Here’s A New DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD Trailer

Grab your backpack, ‘cause we’re about to stab some pendejos.

It’s time for a confession. Although the movie I’m most anticipating this summer is undoubtedly Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, the movie I’ve been the most impatient for is Paramount’s Dora and The Lost City of Gold. There’s something so irresistibly curious about getting to see one of my sacred childhood edutainment icons unsheathe a bowie knife and evade mercenaries in the rainforest.

If you don’t believe me, check out this latest trailer:

See? I’m not lying. They gritty-rebooted Dora The Explorer and it’s only 2019. If that’s not a sign of the rapture, I don’t know what is.

But in all honesty, Dora The Tomb Raider does look really fun. It’s directed by James Bobin, the man responsible for much of Flight of the Conchords and 2011’s The Muppets. (And also 2016’s Alice Through the Looking Glass, but I’m willing to call that a fluke.) And if nothing else, you can’t say this movie didn’t commit to the look of a real adventure movie, even if it does turn out to be a juvenile romp. I especially look forward to counting the amount of stab wounds Dora inflicts. Also, hearing Danny Trejo as Boots the Monkey.

Dora and The Lost City of Gold comes out August 9, 2019, and it will be starring Isabela Moner, Eugenio Derbez, Michael Peña, Eva Longoria, Danny Trejo, Benicio del Toro, Temuera Morrison, and Adriana Barraza. Yeah, that’s right, move over, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and Knives Out, we got one more contender for the Most Stacked Cast of 2019.