When I was a kid I was scared shitless of haunted houses. This one time, my buddy's mom took both of us to Six Flags for their annual Halloween celebration, and I got so scared inside a haunted house I cried about it and clung to my dude's mom like a life raft. This was not one of my prouder moments as a young lad, to be sure, but whatcanyado?
Cut to: a few years ago, when I traveled alllll the way to Universal Studios in order to run their battery of Halloween Horror Nights haunted houses (or "haunts", for the discerning fan). These, I had been assured, were world-class affairs, the scariest haunts in the country executed with top-notch production values. If these didn't scare me, nothing would. They did not scare me. As a boy I'd been afraid, but 19,532,187 horror movies, novels and comic books later, I found even these haunts to be less than frightening. Oh, you might startle me, sure, but scare me? Come on now. We're all adults here. We know we're at a theme park. I just bought a $14 pretzel, for god's sake.
Anyway, this is all a very elaborate and unnecessary way of saying: the haunted house in Haunt looks pretty scary.
This is the first trailer for Haunt, from writers/directors Scott Beck and Bryan Woods. They're the guys who wrote A Quiet Place, which makes me a bit more intrigued here than, say, the average "Young folks getting murdered at an amusement park" movie. This looks like a grisly, mean-spirited, nasty little affair, and I'll probably give it a whirl when it hits theaters next month. Why not? Cheaper than going back to Orlando, and probably scarier.
Here's an official plot synopsis:
"On Halloween, a group of friends encounter an "extreme" haunted house that promises to feed on their darkest fears. The night turns deadly as they come to the horrifying realization that some monsters are real."
Sure sure sure. Sounds good. This kinda thing doesn't need to be elaborate; anyone onboard with this simply wishes to see misbehaving youths getting slaughtered, and Haunt looks like it'll provide that in spades. We're low-key interested in this one, but how 'bout y'all? Think you'll give it a day in court when it hits theaters on September 13th, or will you wait for streaming?
Sound off below.