For One Brief Moment, A STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER Script Was On eBay

Ya snooze, ya lose, nerds.

During an appearance on this morning's Good Morning America, J.J. Abrams revealed that an actual, honest-to-goodness script for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, wound up on eBay. According to the filmmaker, if it weren't for a vigilant Disney employee, that script could've made it out into the internet wild. But how the hell did a top secret script for one of the most closely-guarded productions end up on eBay, of all places? Who even uses eBay? Isn't it just a place where your aunt buys perfumes they stopped making in the ’90s? Abrams describes how it went down:

"One of our actors, I won’t say which one — I want to, but I won’t — left it under their bed and it was found by someone who was cleaning their place. It was then given to someone else who went to sell it on eBay."

NAME NAMES, ABRAMS. Which Star Wars cast member would absent-mindedly leave a script for The Rise of Skywalker under their bed in a hotel room? This is like a game of Clue. Perhaps it was Warwick Davis, on the second floor of the Hilton in a room with two double beds, distracted by an early morning binge-watch of The Bachelor. Or maybe it was Adam Driver, in the Howard Johnson executive suite, during an emotionally-charged phone call with Noah Baumbach. Wait, no, it was Domhnall Gleeson, at the La Quinta, and it was actually the ghost of Carrie Fisher. 

Abrams says that a Disney employee spotted the script on eBay and "got it back before it sold." I sincerely hope that person has been given a raise and promoted to a position that does not involve having to constantly check eBay for whoopsies.