Next March is going to be a party.

The Coronavirus movie delays are now reaching all the way into July. According to Variety, a bunch of Sony movies just got the big shove. This is their way of saying we probably won’t be getting to theaters until August, if then. I don’t want to think about that, but here I am.

I guess if you want to be an optimist, we will be looking forward to one heck of a 2021. Right now it goes like this: GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE was July 10, but will now come out March 5, 2021. If you were curious about discovering what this movie was even about, you’ll have to just hang in there a bit longer.

MORBIUS, which yes is a real movie that stars Jared Leto, was going to make Scott Wampler very happy on July 31. Now it will have to make Scott Wampler very happy March 19, 2021 instead. All you PETER RABBIT 2: THE RUNAWAY fans have to wait until January 15, 2021, by which time your kids will probably have already aged into vaping and watching MORBIUS - which will have just hit their germ-free VR headsets by then.

2021 films aren’t safe either, especially ones that weren’t very solid to begin with. An unnamed Sony/Marvel movie has been stripped of its October 8, 2021 release date, while the movie that might one day be UNCHARTED has been moved from March 2021 to October 8, 2021. On October 7, though, Earth will probably get hit with world-wide blindness or something. Sorry, UNCHARTED.

It’ll be interesting if theaters actually get the go-ahead to open before this, with no films to show. Get ready for a season of greatest hits on the big screen. And then, of course, there will be the season during which no films come out because no one was filming any for a few months. Time for Wakaliwood to step up to the big stage, if you ask me.