Here’s The First Not-Very-Encouraging Details Regarding The Plot Of That DIE HARD Prequel

Remember that bad dream we all had about someone making a prequel to Die Hard? Yeah, well, regret to inform you, but: that actually happened.

But remember how we were all like, "Making a prequel to Die Hard literally doesn't even make sense", and how our disbelieving laughter was so overwhelmingly loud that everyone just assumed that some executive at 20th Century Fox must have taken a moment to reevaluate the entire project, if not their entire life up until that point? Well, none did, so now we're getting a Len Wiseman-directed Die Hard prequel and Bruce Willis is even gonna be in it. Fuck you.

How's this going to work, you ask? It's a very good question, one that Collider made sure to ask when they ran into Wiseman recently. Here's his pitch:

After doing the fourth one, there were so many conversations that Bruce [Willis] and I were having about what he put into the character for Die Hard 1. That character comes in with so much baggage, emotionally, and experience. He’s already divorced, he’s bitter, his Captain hates him and doesn’t want him back. So, what created that guy?

Hahahaha!

“We’ve never seen the actual love story. We know its demise, but we’ve never seen what it was like when he met Holly, or when he was a beat cop in ‘78 in New York when there was no chance of him making detective. It’s always been something I’ve been thinking about, and now we’re doing it. And it ties in.”

HAHAHAHAHA!

“The reason I say prequel/sequel is because I wasn’t going to do it without Bruce. I’m also not going to do it with Bruce being a cameo bookend gimmick. It’s really working into the plot, with the ‘70s having ramifications on present-day Bruce. It inter-cuts in a very fun, imaginative way with present-day John McClane.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!

Head on over to Collider to read the rest of their interview with Wiseman, which also includes his thoughts on how to cast a young Bruce Willis ("It has to be somebody that has the swagger and the confidence"; yes, yes, very good), what time of year the film's set during, and when shooting might begin. 

Hahaha. "What it was like when he met Holly". Oh, man.