Tom Hooper Will Find A Way To Make CATS Suck Harder Than Ever Before

Just try and think of a film you'd like to see less than this.

By May. 06, 2016

Sorry to begin a Friday on this note, but: according to Variety, Universal has hired Tom Hooper to direct a movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats. 

I suppose this was only inevitable. Hooper's Les Miserables, a two-hour and forty-minute migraine headache disguised as a musical, made well over $400m worldwide, and somehow tricked the Academy into giving it several Oscars. From a a financial standpoint, this thing was only a matter of time. I suppose we should all just be grateful that Hooper's taken the gig, which will serve the dual purpose of a) keeping him away from better material and b) providing us with what I assume will be a deeply silly film. 

Anyway, here's some trivia about the musical from Variety's report:

The musical Cats is based on T.S. Eliot’s poetry collection “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats” and centers on a tribe of cats called the Jellicles who must decide nightly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

It's at this point that I would like to direct you towards Film Crit Hulk's savage takedown of Les Miserables. That post is an all-timer, and perhaps the only good thing to have come out of Les Miserables. 

Oh, and on a related note:

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