Here’s The Jaw-Dropping First Trailer For XXX: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE

You will believe a man can ski in the jungle.

By Jul. 19, 2016

The first trailer for XXX: Return Of Xander Cage has arrived, and it is a thing of deeply silly beauty.

Satellites plummeting out of orbit and straight into the surface of the Earth! Vin Diesel skiing through the jungle! People getting jump-kicked off moving motorcycles! Samuel L. Jackson eating Chinese food! Vin Diesel motorcycling his way across a large body of water! Excessive parkour! Vin Diesel rocking a neck tattoo and maintaining his steadfast refusal to wear anything with sleeves! Guns! Girls! The return of Xander Cage!

This is an incredibly silly trailer and I am powerless against it. God, I wish I could see Evan Saathoff's face right now.

XXX: Return Of Xander Cage arrives on January 20th. I'd already be in line if it weren't certain to get me arrested for vagrancy.

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