DIE HARD Just Won’t F*cking Die Already As Bruce Willis Returns To Franchise

Though A Good Day to Die Hard was arguably one of the worst big studio movies this writer’s ever seen in a theater, it also made $300 million worldwide. On the bright side, it helped kick off the Jaiaissance by including the beautiful, anonymous white actor we’ve all come to know and love. #JaiBless

Now, Wiseman’s confirmed that Bruce Willis is returning to the iconic role of John McClane for Die Hard: Year One (side note: fuck off), which will see the former NYC cop battling some form of terrorists (Trump supporters?) in the present, while an unnamed actor will play a younger version of McClane in 70s New York. Sure, whatever.

No word on which CAD machine from your local high school shop class will pen the script as of yet, but it might actually be better if they just ad-libbed the whole movie over a few bottles of Mad Dog. Wiseman’s already proven that he doesn’t remotely understand what made McClane’s everyman quality so compelling in John McTiernan’s ’88 action classic, so I’d at least respect this more if everyone went all in and just filmed one hung over action sequence after another while Willis shrugs his way to another paycheck.

I’m all out of fucks to give. This is the end of the article.