It’s Official: Xander Cage Will Return In XXX 4

In what may well be the best news of 2018, a fourth XXX film has just been announced.

Shut your lips and listen to Variety:

"The H Collective and Vin Diesel’s One Race Films have acquired rights from Revolution Studios to the xXx film franchise and plan to begin shooting the fourth film in December.

Revolution Studios retains its rights to the first three films. D.J. Caruso, who directed xXx: Return of Xander Cage, will return to direct xXx 4 with Diesel reprising his role as Xander Cage. Joe Roth and Jeff Kirschenbaum will produce with Diesel, Samantha Vincent for One Race Films and the H Collective."

Listen, there are two types of people in this world: there are those who appreciate the balls-out insanity of XXX: Return Of Xander Cage, and then there are chumps - woeful chumps who live a painful, unfortunate existence largely dominated by their complete inability to feel joy.

We weep for this second camp even as we celebrate being in the first camp, because there's nothing sadder than a human being who can't appreciate a franchise wherein Vin Diesel snow skis down a jungle-covered mountain, drives a goddamn motorcycle across a large body of water, and - if called upon to do so - will not hesitate to fuck his way out of sticky situations.

Whatever the fourth XXX movie ends up being called, it films in December with DJ Caruso at the helm. Vin Diesel and his eye-poppingly awful coat will return, and it's likely he'll be joined by whichever characters survived XXX: Return of Xander Cage.

If this franchise's history of increasingly-ridiculous entries is any indication, this film will end up being the most absurd, unbelievable, amazing, breathtaking thing ever to grace a silver screen. I'll bet you ten bucks right now that the motherfucker goes to space in this one. Watch.

Stay tuned for more on XXX 4 as it becomes available.