Release Goddamn The Snyder Cut Already

Look, JUSTICE LEAGUE was not a good movie. We all know it. I get that some of you may like it a little. Heck, even I found moments I enjoyed. But it’s barely there.

And we all know why.

Zack Snyder didn’t get to finish it. If he were in charge of the film’s final cut, there’s no way the bad guy would have been that CG nobody with stupid horns.

Zack Snyder knows computers and could have made Superman’s upper lip look less like silly putty. Matter of fact, Zack Snyder would have won that argument in the first place. Have you SEEN his muscles?

Zack Snyder would not have let Batman turn into a chubby de-powered joke character who stumbles his way through the film like a cop two days from retirement.

You know that bit where Superman comes back from the dead and fights the Justice League? Yeah, I have some questions. WHY is he not a super disgusting zombie? HOW does he not absolutely murder all of them one by one, especially Batman, and especially Flash, and probably especially Cyborg too? And you’re trying to tell me that fight did not lead to any bystander deaths? Fuckin’ really?

There are moments in this movie where Aquaman wears a shirt. I don’t think so, buddy. Don’t make me laugh.

One time I had a friend and we hung out all the time and when I told her I loved her she said she just wanted to be friends and there is NO WAY Zack Snyder would allow that.

JK Simmons got fucking jacked to be in this movie. You think he did that so he could be covered up by a trench coat the whole time. JK Simmons was going to become part of the team and Joss Whedon robbed me of that!

It’s a well known fact that Batman and Wonder Woman were supposed to fuck. I saw this film five times in the theater and guess what, they never do. Bullshit!

I’m sorry, you don’t hire Joe Manganiello to play Deathstroke the Terminator and even poke out one of his eyes for a mere cameo. Give me the Snyder Cut Deathstroke Fight!

There is a part in this movie where Superman smiles. What a joke.

Look, the film is right there. It was finished with all its effects and they had Joss Whedon cut stuff OUT of it probably, so you wouldn’t even be spending any money letting the rest of us see what we should have been seeing in the first place. It’s not fair to keep it secret. This film belongs to the fans and the fans will stop at nothing to get it. We live in a society.