The 11 Satanic Rules Of Badass Digest

I'm very proud of the community we have built - and are continuing to build! - here at Badass Digest. I try to be firm but fair in the comments section, and I try to encourage smart discussion over lame one-liners, tired memes and poorly spelled rants. Every now and again it's helpful to reiterate what the rules are for such a community, and I've decided that Anton LaVey's 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth make for a pretty good jumping off point when it comes to behaviour in the comments section. Here are LaVey's rules, and how they apply to Badass Digest:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. 

Well, we want your opinions. But we want your opinions on the matter at hand, so keep your opinions about me and your fellow poster's lives and proclivities to yourself. Let's talk about the movies, not how fat I am.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

We can keep this intact. Nobody cares about how this movie reminds you of your dad or going to school or whatever. You have a blog for that stuff. 

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

This is the Badass Digest lair. Treat it - and us! - with respect.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

I will fuck you up in the comments. Or at least IP ban you in a heartbeat.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Don't be sexist and gross. Don't hit on female posters. Let's also include not being racist, homophobic, etc in here. Men's Rights Advocates: consider yourselves pre-banned.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Don't share pirated material.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

We love movies. Deeply and seriously. You should love movies. If you go on and on about 'turn off your brain!' you'll probably get banned.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Nobody made you read the article. Don't bitch about it being here.

9. Do not harm little children.

This is just a good rule of thumb. And let's extend it to actual younger posters - be kind to them. And also to posters who don't speak English as their first language. I don't see you posting comments in THEIR first language, knucklehead.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

Yeah, I don't think we have to worry about this here.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Don't troll, motherfucker. You will be banned.

Thanks, Anton, for these rules that can forever guide this site. And thanks to Black Magic Rollercoaster, for hipping me to the idea that these make excellent forum rules.